Fran quotes from Black Books

Bernard

I don’t remember that.

Fran

Do you remember that night last week when you slept in a revolving door?

Bernard

...no...

Fran

Okay, do you remember when you ran out of tobacco so you smoked your own pubic hair?

Bernard

Not especially, no.

Fran

It was in between those two things.

Fran

I've had an idea for your event Manny.

Manny

Great!

Fran

Yes, you could get everyone come into the shop to vote for what they think it's the most stylish city in Europe.

Manny

(begins to chuckle)

Fran

Then...

Manny

(continues chuckling)

Fran

At the end of the week you can...

Manny

(continues chuckling)

Fran

What?

Manny

Europe... you are funny Fran. I hardly think your little jaunts to Europe count as travel.

Fran

Well, pardon me!

Manny

This is not a festival for tourists! We've got an explorer coming in, he's giving a talk! The the the... legendary, famously charming Jason Hamilton.

Now Fran, would you say that you had jungle experience, bearing in mind it could be handy on this trip?

Fran

Does Corfu count?

You've been to Corfu?

Fran

No.

Fran

Bernard, why aren't you dancing?

Bernard

There's no music.

Fran

Well, sing us a song - you're Irish.

Bernard

What is this I'm drinking? It's disgusting. It's like a choc ice fell into a bottle of bleach. This is children's booze! What's yours?

Fran

Bludge. It's quite good actually. You don't even have to drink it. You just rub it on your hips and it eats right through to your liver.