Bernard quotes from Black Books

Played by Dylan Moran · 63 quotes · page 5 of 5

Played by Dylan Moran

Most-quoted character in Black Books: in 63 of its 89 quotes
Most scenes with: Manny (19), Fran (14)

Scenes with Bernard 38

Let's paaaar...

Bernard

[points his finger threateningly at Manny] DON'T YOU DARE USE THE WORD 'PARTY' AS A VERB IN THIS SHOP!!

Let's... potter along... in order to attend the party! [Bernard lowers his finger]

Fran, get the wine!

Bernard

What? [sees that there was alcohol in the house the whole time] Lies! Subterfuge! Seething corruption!

Bernard

What is this I'm drinking? It's disgusting. It's like a choc ice fell into a bottle of bleach. This is children's booze! What's yours?

Bludge. It's quite good actually. You don't even have to drink it. You just rub it on your hips and it eats right through to your liver.