[Saul, now going by Gene Takavic, is confronted by Jeff after he unexpectedly shows up at his home]
I know, it's awkward, right? But you don't have to call me Dad. Yet.
I don't know what this is about, but all I have to do is pick up the phone and it's "Bye-bye, Saul Goodman."
Yeah, but you haven't picked up the phone yet, have ya? Or tried to strong-arm me for cash. And guess what? I know why. Because reward money–blackmail–that's not gonna tickle your pickle. I know what you really want.
The game? What—what game?
The game. The one you've been watching your entire life. You got your nose pressed up against the glass, peering in while the big boys play.
Speak English, man. What the hell are you talking about?
The game. It's right there. You can see it, but you can't touch it yet. [pause] Cars, clothes. The cash, the ladies. It's about knowing all the angles, you know? Putting it all on the line and winning big. But here you are, Jeffy. Standing outside with the suckers, trying to pay off that cab, sweating the bills. You're getting older. It's–it's so close, but dammit you just can't get in! Until now. I can make it happen.
Saul Goodman. [pause] So, here's the deal. I will show you the game, and then we're done.
[Jeff stares at Saul for another moment before smiling]
[Jeff runs around a maze in the outline of a mall. Saul, on a loudspeaker, shouts directions to him.]
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! One, Armani suits and run! Two, Air Jordan shoes for you! Three, linen shirts for free! Four, cashmere sweaters out the door! Five, Patagonias to survive! Six, swanky sweatsuits in the mix! HALT!
[Jeff stops, panting heavily]
That's too many, you gotta be precise! Just three of each.
Why? And why do I gotta run around like an asshole?
I already told you! Three minutes, got it? That's our window!
Yeah, but why three minutes?
Because at three minutes, that's when security sees you on the cameras and the cops haul your ass to jail, alright? So let's go.
Sure there's cameras! They erase the tapes every seventy-two hours, so that's why you only take three of each, and only the pricey stuff. When the store opens the next morning, they won't even know they were robbed. By the time they do inventory, abra-cadabra, no more Jeffy on the tape! Right, so, three items, three minutes... It's easy. Let's go.
[Jeff walks back to the start of the maze]
Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered!
Just, this whole thing, it seems crazy!
Is this too hot for you?! Ju–You know what, just say so! You know what? Screw it. "Crazy?" I'll tell you what's crazy! Fifty-year-old high school chemistry teacher comes into my office. The guy is so broke, he can't pay his own mortgage. One year later, he's got a pile of cash as big as a Volkswagen. That's crazy.
Well, look at you! Hey, you're young. You're probably, uh... Fast in the feet, huh?
Okay, I–I didn't say I wouldn't do it! I just... Had some questions about, like... logistics.
[sighs] Okay, back to one. [speaks into the loudspeaker as Jeff sets himself up] Check, test, one-two, one-two. Okay! And ready, set, action!
[Jeff begins running again]
Move, move, move! Pick up the pace! Go, go, go! One, Armani suits and run! Two, Air Jordan shoes for you! Three, linen shirts for free! Four, cashmere sweaters out the door! Five, Patagonias to survive! Six, swanky sweatsuits in the mix! Let's go, let's go, let's go!
[On the night of the robbery, Saul watches Jeff through the mall cameras while one of the security guards, Frank, is eating a Cinnabon roll with his back facing the cameras]
How about that 44-21 win against the Cavs?
FFrank
Be still my heart. [laughs]
Seventy-six yard pass to Reggie Ball, and–and never sacked once.
FFrank
Wow, you have got quite the memory.
...Yeah, well–I'll tell you what. I can remember every stitch of clothing I was wearing during that game, but ask me what I had for dinner and... [whistles] Clean slate.
FFrank
Tell me about it! [Saul checks his stopwatch, which is at two minutes and fifteen seconds] Well, I'll tell ya: If you're not passing the ball, that's what's gonna happen. [eats another bite] Mmm!
[Eventually, Jeff runs with the last round of clothes when he slips and falls. Saul chokes on his coffee.]
FFrank
Oh, okay. So, you think our guys are gonna move to the Big Ten like they're sayin'?
FFrank
Yeah, you know, maybe they're just chasing the almighty dollar if you ask me. I mean, both powerhouses of course. But, you know what? You got Oklahoma and Texas over here. But Michigan, Ohio State over there! [Saul looks nervously at the cameras] I... I don't know. Guess I like tradition. [chuckles; sighs as he takes yet another bite] So good. Just amazing. Wow.
[After Saul realizes Jeff is out cold, he fakes a nervous breakdown and cries out in anguish to distract Frank]
[cries out again as Frank turns his head towards the cameras] Look at me! Wha–I don't know what... [sobs] Oh, Jesus!
Oh, God. You... you have a wife, right, Frank?
She's waiting for you? [Frank nods] Look at me. I got... I got no one. My parents are dead. My brother... [beat; looks down] My brother is dead. I, uh... I don't have a wife. No kids, no friends. If I die tonight, no one would care. What difference would it make?
[Saul looks up again and notices Jeff slowly regaining consciousness and getting himself up]
FFrank
Gene, buddy... I–I'm sure you mean a lot to... to a lot of–lots of people. [turns his head around again]
[slams fist on table] If I die tonight, my landlord would pack up my stuff. It'd take him three hours. And Cinnabon would just hire a new manager. Gene who?! Poof, I'd be gone! I'd be... a–a ghost. Less than a ghost. I'd be a... a shadow. I'd just mean nothing. I mean, Frank... What's the point, Frank? What's the...
[Saul sees Jeff put away the clothes in the box. He groans as he watches Jeff run out of the warehouse, then claps when he's out of sight]
[sighs] I'm sorry. You didn't need to hear that.
FFrank
No, no, no. That's–That's okay. No, that is okay. Everybody has bad days.
FFrank
...No. I mean, not me, but... people. I think a lot of people.
You guys enjoying yourselves? Well, hold on to that feeling, 'cause this is it.
Well, in case you forget, you transported stolen goods with a value exceeding $5,000. And the truck you used to do it was rented in Council Bluffs across state lines.
You told us to rent the truck over there, so—
[motions for Jeff to stop talking] Theft from an interstate shipment, up to ten years. Transportation of stolen goods, another ten years. Sale of stolen goods, ten years. Conspiracy to commit a federal crime—
Whoa, hold on. Conspiracy? It was your idea.
Yeah. It's called mutually assured destruction, so... if I go down, you go down.
Man, you don't have to threaten us. We're all friends here.
I am not your friend. And if you get greedy, and you decide to come back for more, don't. Gene Takavic, you've never heard of him. Cottonwood Mall, you don't go there. You see me comin', you cross to the other side of the street.
Now, I need you to say it. We're done.
Say it. We're done. Say it.
[beat; looks at Buddy briefly] We're done.
[pause] We're–We're done.
