[Kim and Jimmy interview their first potential secretary: Francesca]
Well, I for one, am not calling it the MVD. DMV all the way.
What do you think you learned the most, working there?
FrancescaPatience. Diplomacy. You meet all sorts of people down there, and most are really great, really friendly, but you encounter some who are upset, belligerent—
What about old folks? You get your fair share of them?
Francesca
Oh, lots of elderly drivers. After 75, they need to take their test again, so if they don't pass you have to explain why their license isn't being renewed, which is hard for them.
What do you say then? Do you ever... yell at them? I mean, geezers, right? How can you not?
Francesca
...No. I would never, no.
...Nor should you, that was a trick question. You passed with flying colors, very good.
So, Jimmy and I have very different needs. His practice is mostly wills for senior citizens while I'm focused on a single client at the moment, Mesa Verde, with banking regulations that generate a ton of paperwork. So, I'm looking for someone with an eye for organization and detail.
Well, DMV's great for that. Tons of detail in those driver's licenses.
Francesca
We did see hundreds of people every day, and you'd never want to let a mistake slip through on those forms. You'd just have a horrible cascade of problems.
So, why the law? I mean, why leave the DMV- er, MVD? I have to imagine you'll be giving up a good benefits package.
Francesca
Good healthcare and retirement plans, but there's a bureaucracy to government work that ultimately became too frustrating. I guess- what'd you'd call it, too much red tape? I just wanna be somewhere I can make a difference.
Oh, that's us. We're all about making a difference.
And I see here both Word and Excel, you're comfortable with?
Francesca
Absolutely—
Excel and Word? Wow. Well, you had me at "old people!" Hey, here's a question: can you start today?
Francesca
I... uh, yes?
Now–Can you just give us a second, Francesca?
Francesca
Absolutely, I, uh... Of course.
Thank you. [pause; to Jimmy after Francesca leaves] What are you doing?
"Can you start today?" Don't you think we should see more resumes? Like, a lot more? She is our first interview! We haven't even checked her references!
So we'll check 'em! Kim, you've been taking forever searching for a paralegal. Now, we need help here.
Haven't found the right fit.
Yeah, because you're searching for perfection, and perfection is the enemy of perfectly adequate.
So that's the bar here? Adequate?
She's more than adequate! She worked at the DMV, that's like the fifth circle of Hell! Look, she's overqualified; if it doesn't work out, we can fire her. It's no big deal.
Don't you think someone with actual legal experience would be better?
Look, I've got a commercial airing in eleven minutes, so the phones are gonna be ringing off the hook and I need help. Can we give her a test run, please? I got a good feeling about this! Come on, Kim!
[In a flash-forward cold open, Saul and Francesca prepare to leave their office for good and start putting money into suitcases]
[to Francesca] Do me a favor. [points at trash bags full of shredded documents] Take those with you, drop them off at least five miles from here in separate dumpsters! [Francesca stares at him] Oh, right. Um... [unzips suitcase and gives Francesca a rolled-up wad of cash; Francesca continues staring] Fine. [reaches into suitcase again and gives her more cash] Okay, when the cops come talk to you–and they will–what are you gonna tell them?
Francesca
"Talk to my attorney."
Yeah. [hands Francesca a business card] Tell them Jimmy sent you. Okay, and where are you gonna be November 12th at 3:00 p.m.?
Francesca
I'll be there, but if it doesn't ring at 3:00 on the dot, I'm gone.
Don't worry, it's gonna ring. Well, I guess... that's it. Quite a ride, huh?
[Saul spreads his arms out for a hug]
Francesca
[scoffs] Yep.
[Francesca takes the trash bags with her on her way out and shuts the door. Saul runs to his desk, gets a disposable cell phone out of a drawer, and quickly dials a number.]
I need a new dust filter for my Hoover Max Extract Pressure Pro, model 60. Can you help me with that? Pickup... How hot? Red hot. [pause] I know where that is. I'll be there. [hangs up and breaks apart the phone]
[Jimmy has brought Francesca back to work as his administrative assistant. There is a long line of potential clients standing outside as Jimmy lets her in. One of those clients taps impatiently on the glass to her bewilderment.]
Whoa! Hold up! Justice will be served in four and a half minutes. 9:00 a.m. sharp. I look forward to sitting down with each and every one of you. [to Francesca, after locking the door] Morning rush. [points at picnic table] That’s your station. Temporarily, of course, but… check it out. Center stage. [pause; notices Francesca staring at the toilet with disgust] What? That–it’s garbaggio. On its way to the dumpster. I know that this place needs a little TLC, but this is just day one. Two weeks from now, you won’t recognize it.
Francesca
Where’s Ms. Wexler?
Uh, you mean my wife. [Francesca looks surprised] That’s right. I made an honest woman out of her. She’s blazing her own trail, and I couldn’t be prouder.
Francesca
So, it’s just…
Me. Just me, for now. But hey, look at it this way. [pulls out chair] Half the work.
Francesca
What happened to the old folks, the… elder law?
I–I expanded the mission to be more inclusive. Here at Saul Goodman & Associates, we welcome all ages, all creations, all stripes.
Francesca
And who is this Saul Goodman? You?
You got it! What Colonel Sanders is to chicken, Saul Goodman is to the law.
Francesca
Why me?
Because I trust you. And what happened last time, I–I wanna make it up to you.
[Francesca gets startled by another potential client banging on the window]
I will explain at the end of the day! Please!
Francesca
You’re just in desperate need of a warm body. [walks toward the door] Good luck.
Francesca
Back to the MVD. I took half a personal day for this.
What if I double your salary?
Francesca
My salary at the MVD, or what you were paying me before?
Whatever was less. [Francesca scoffs and starts to leave again] No! Whatever is more! More is the word I’m looking for! Did I mention [takes out his wallet and holds out some cash] …the signing bonus?
Francesca
[pause] I get a say in the decorating. [takes cash from Jimmy]
[Jimmy has Francesca call HHM and pose as a relative of a Sandpiper resident to get details about the upcoming mediation]
Francesca
I just... I don't know if I'm comfortable. Is this even legal?
I'm sorry, which one of us went to law school? Because I can stand here and go through the ins and outs of what's quote-unquote legal with you, but we're on the clock.
Francesca
I just don't–
Francesca, let's get something straight, okay? We can't be holding a graduate seminar in constitutional law every time I give you something to do.
Francesca
But I–I'm not sure if–
You know what I'm paying you? It is above market. To whom much is given, much is expected! [takes out cell phone and starts dialing a number]
Francesca
We're not gonna make a habit of this?
Of course not! Absolutely not. No, no, no. [gives phone to Francesca] Put it on speaker and let me... [moves closer]
HEHHM Employee #1
Hamlin Hamlin McGill.
Francesca
Hi... there. I'm calling because my—my mother is... is–Well, I guess she's a—m–a client of yours. She lives in, uh, Sandpiper Assisted Living.
HEHHM Employee #1
Sandpiper, of course. Let me transfer you.
[to Francesca while she's on hold] It's just a phone call.
HEHHM Employee #2
Good afternoon. Do you have a question about the Sandpiper case?
Francesca
[waits for Jimmy to nod] Yes. My mother's out of the facility in Amarillo. Says she's supposed to call in to some meeting on Thursday?
HEHHM Employee #2
Yes, you're talking about the mediation?
Francesca
That's it. The thing is, she's lost her dial-in instructions. [sighs nervously] I'm just looking everywhere and can't find them.
HEHHM Employee #2
I'd be happy to help you with that. It's very important to us that all the class members are fully looked in. What's your mother's name?
Francesca
[tells name mouthed by Jimmy] Uh, Marnie Stuber. [watches Jimmy form the letters as she spells aloud] That's–That's S-T-U-B-E-R. [sighs nervously again when Jimmy forces her to smile] Oh, bless your heart. She'll be so relieved!
HEHHM Employee #2
Okay, it's very simple. The meeting is happening at our offices. So she just has to call the main line—the same number you called just now—press 7, and then enter the passcode. I can give that to you now. Do you have a pen?
Francesca
Uh... [Jimmy quickly takes out a pen] Y–Yeah, I'm ready.
HEHHM Employee #2
Okay. It's 8-4-2-1-5-9. [Jimmy writes the numbers on his hand]
Francesca
8-4-2-1-5-9?
HEHHM Employee #2
That's right.
Francesca
Okay! Uh, thank you so much. Really appreciate it.
HEHHM Employee #2
Of course, take care.
[hangs up immediately] Was that so hard?
Better Call Saul · 283 quotes
