Daniel quotes from Better Call Saul

Daniel

Hey! It's me! [after a brief fumble, he backs the car up to catch up with Mike] Hello? Hello! It's me! I got a new car. Do you like it?

Mike

We're not taking that to the meet.

Daniel

How are we gonna get there?

Mike

I'll drive, in my car.

Daniel

Why?

Mike

This business requires restraint. That is the opposite of restraint.

Daniel

But... I like it. I mean, I'm proud of it.

Mike

Good. And you can be proud of it on your own time. Just not with me. I'm not getting in that.

Daniel

Well, if you must know, I was robbed. Somebody broke into my house and stole my property.

Mike

Your drugs.

Daniel

Yeah, but obviously ‭I didn't tell the cops that. I'm not stupid.

Mike

You've already spoken to them?

Daniel

A couple of them came by my house. But it's not the drugs that I care about. I mean, I care. It's my baseball cards I need back.

Mike

Your baseball cards?

Daniel

Yes. I have a very valuable collection of baseball cards, and someone stole them.

Mike

I guess I shouldn't be surprised I have to tell you this. But it's probably a bad idea that you willingly talk to the police, being a criminal and all.

Daniel

I'm not here as a criminal. I'm here as a crime victim. Just because I occasionally sell some pharmaceuticals, I no longer have a right to protection from crime? And I was very careful when I talked to them. I... they have no idea about my other business.

Mike

If you already made your report, why are you here?

Daniel

They called me. They have a few more questions. They are very dedicated to finding this thief.

Mike

Since you're new to this, let me explain it to you. They've invited you on a fishing trip.

Daniel

What's that? A fishing trip?

Mike

Those cops have no interest in helping you get your cards back. You're obviously under suspicion.

Daniel

There was nothing there for them to see.

Mike

I refer you to our previous conversation and this blinking neon sign of a vehicle that says "drug dealer." They suspect you. They will get you in there, pretend to be your friend, lull you into a false sense of security, and then they will sweat you. And you will break.

Daniel

I don't... I... [chuckles] I disagree.

Mike

Not open for debate. You go home now.

Daniel

But I have an appointment.

Mike

Break it. And if they call you, do not answer the phone.

Daniel

But- what about my baseball cards?

Mike

Cost of doing business.

Daniel

No! No, no, no, I am getting those back! I will take the risk.

Mike

No, you won't, because then you'll be putting my well-being at risk.

Daniel

I have to! I–I–those cards? Some of them were my dad's. I am getting them back. I'm getting them back.

Mike

[pause] I'll find your cards.

Daniel

Is–is that something you do? Wow, that's–that is so generous of you.

Mike

Oh, it'll cost ya.

Daniel

She's a little tricky around the corners, so–and you gotta go with the premium gas. I know it seems like a scam, but it makes a huge difference. And I would get here washed at least once a week, and spring for the hand wax. You're gonna want that extra layer of protection for the clear coat. She deserves the best.

Nacho

I'll make sure the boys at the chop shop are real gentle with her.

Daniel

Wait, why? No...

Nacho

You'd think I'd be caught dead driving that thing? It looks like a school bus for 6 year old pimps.

Daniel

So, uh, we're good, right?

Jimmy

Yeah. Great! [chuckles] There is, however, one little, tiny hanging Chad.

Daniel

Well, what? What Chad?

Jimmy

You're gonna have to make a video.