Do you people have any FUCKING idea who I am!? My name is John Mitchell, and I've killed more people than you've met!
S2Long Live The King
We're like detectives - Crockett and Tubbs.
Or Randall and Hopkirk deceased.
You don't buy any food. You never hoover. I don't think you even know what a pair of Marigolds is!
I don't do Marigolds.
We need to talk. So, George, you start.
[to Mitchell] Are you okay?
I've been better. You?
Likewise.
We should just go out one night and just get hammered.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
That's it? That's how you share?
What more is there to say?
Yeah, he's feeling a bit down, which is pretty understandable and I'm kind of stressed. We don't need to turn this into an episode of Oprah.
Exactly! File it under 'have discussed'.
George do you wanna watch The Real Hustle?
Oh I would really like that Mitchell. [to Annie] Women - think you're such authorities, like the way you deal with emotion is the only way.
It's not on!
Er, yeah it is. It's on at 10:30.
No, they moved it.
They what?! No, you're kidding me?!
Oh I don't believe it!
No, I was looking forward to that.
10:30 Thursdays. That's 'Real Hustle' time. A fucking child knows that!
Could I just not have one good thing in my life...?
...It just drives me insane when they move things around...
...Don't I deserve it? Don't I deserve one bloody crumb of happiness?
...This is so...what, so we're supposed to check every week! Like we don't have anything else to do! Is it our responsibility? Why's it down to us?!
I saw a preview. They were going to do a con about cashpoints.
Really? [George nods] I would have loved that. You bastards! Argh!! [Mitchell flings the TV schedule at the television and walks into the kitchen as George sobs, Mitchell walks back wearing Marigolds] There, I'll do the washing-up! Is everyone happy now?!
S2Educating Creature
I'll haunt you!
SSykes
You can't haunt another ghost.
I'll give it a damn good go!
There must be some other reason for chatting you up, like access to drugs.
She's a doctor! She can steal her own drugs.
Ah, so she's on drugs. That makes perfect sense.
You see, it's pep talks like this I'm really going to miss.
[George talks about his sudden onset of Tourette's]
This can't be happening to me! This can't! I teach language!
[Fighting a snigger] You could teach...bad language!
[George reads vandalism on a mirror]
"Mr. Sands Suck Cocks"? For God's sake! It's "Mr. Sands Sucks Cocks" - singular, not plural. Have I taught you nothing?
[after George has stormed out] WOW! Clearly someone's been watching a little too much Gordon Ramsay!
S2The Looking Glass
What? There's no vampires in London?
Yeah, but their head guy and I don't, erm...I sort of killed his Mum.
[Police storm into Mitchell's bedroom]
PPolice Officer
[To Mitchell] You! Get up!!
It's the library books, isn't it?
[Annie and George watch as Mitchell is driven away by the police]
[To George] What's he done?
How far back do you want to go?
What's your cat's name, Molly?
MMolly
Molly.
Your cat's called Molly and you're called Molly?
MMolly
My Dad really liked the name. Do you like cats?
Yeah, I couldn't eat a whole one though. [To himself] Who am I kidding? Of course I could.
I'm not scared of you...at least not as scared as I probably should be.
Yeah. You should be terrified. You should be begging for fucking mercy.
I should be married to David Bowie.
[George enters the house to see Annie holding a baby]
What is that?
A baby. It's one of mine.
How long have I been gone?!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Being Human pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.