Beavis and Butt-Head quotes
1300 total quotesWoman: Call 911 now! [man gets thrown back telikinetically]
Butt-Head: Whoa! That's cool!
Beavis: Yeah, that child molester, just messed with the wrong preschooler! Yeah!
Butt-Head: Uh, what makes you think he's a child molester?
Beavis: Oh, he's a child molester, believe me. Every child molester, I've ever met, looks just like that.
Butt-Head: ...
Butt-Head: Whoa! That's cool!
Beavis: Yeah, that child molester, just messed with the wrong preschooler! Yeah!
Butt-Head: Uh, what makes you think he's a child molester?
Beavis: Oh, he's a child molester, believe me. Every child molester, I've ever met, looks just like that.
Butt-Head: ...
Woman: Call 911 now!
Butt-Head: Uhh, that's really cool and everything, but howcome he doesn't just call 911 himself?
Beavis: Yeah, who's he telling, to call 911? Then what's he gonna tell 911 anyway?
Butt-Head: Yeah, he'd be like, "Uh, I told my niece we couldn't go see Smurfs again, and then she started warping space and time.
Slaughter, Real Love
Butt-Head: Uhh, that's really cool and everything, but howcome he doesn't just call 911 himself?
Beavis: Yeah, who's he telling, to call 911? Then what's he gonna tell 911 anyway?
Butt-Head: Yeah, he'd be like, "Uh, I told my niece we couldn't go see Smurfs again, and then she started warping space and time.
Slaughter, Real Love
Woman: You boys ready to die!
Beavis and Butt-head: :[Screams] Buttwoman!
[The obese woman laughs maniacally and chases the boys around. They fall down after jumping over the fence and are later seen hanging upsidedown without their pants. On the Drive-In Sign, it says "Hello, Look At Our Butts!"]
Beavis and Butt-head: :[Screams] Buttwoman!
[The obese woman laughs maniacally and chases the boys around. They fall down after jumping over the fence and are later seen hanging upsidedown without their pants. On the Drive-In Sign, it says "Hello, Look At Our Butts!"]
Young Woman: (Thinking) Please dont let them sit over here. Please don't let them sit over here. Please, god, don't let them sit over here.
Butt-Head: Hey Beavis, let's sit over there.
Butt-Head: Hey Beavis, let's sit over there.
(A blackout occurs, and people are looting around town)
Butt-head: Are they having another one of those Midnight Madness sales?
Beavis: Yeah. Yeah. WE'RE SLASHING PRICES! EVERYTHING MUST GO!
Butt-head: Are they having another one of those Midnight Madness sales?
Beavis: Yeah. Yeah. WE'RE SLASHING PRICES! EVERYTHING MUST GO!
(man who looks like Weird Al Yankovic appears in video)
Beavis: (excited) Whoa, Butthead, check it out! It's Weird Al!
Butthead: Yeah, Weird Al is cool!
(Weird Al lookalike is swing-dancing with an attractive lady)
Beavis: Cool! He's gonna get some!
Butthead: Of course he's gonna get some, dumbass, he's Weird Al!
Styx, Too Much Time on My Hands
Beavis: (excited) Whoa, Butthead, check it out! It's Weird Al!
Butthead: Yeah, Weird Al is cool!
(Weird Al lookalike is swing-dancing with an attractive lady)
Beavis: Cool! He's gonna get some!
Butthead: Of course he's gonna get some, dumbass, he's Weird Al!
Styx, Too Much Time on My Hands
A different girl in the music video screams
Beavis: AAH! What was that? What's going on?!
Butt-head: You wuss! That's just a chick screaming.
Beavis: They should warn you if they're gonna do that crap, dammit.
Beavis: AAH! What was that? What's going on?!
Butt-head: You wuss! That's just a chick screaming.
Beavis: They should warn you if they're gonna do that crap, dammit.
Beavis starts whacking Butt-head with a w: flyswatter in an attempt to kill the lice
Butt-head: Ow! What the hell are you doing, ass-wipe?!
Beavis: Yeah! I'm kicking the bugs' ass! Yeah!
Butt-head: Ow! I'm gonna kick your ass, fartknocker! [kicks Beavis in the testicles]
Beavis: AAAAAAHHH! [falls down]
Butt-head: Now get up. We gotta, like, use an infesticide.
Butt-head: Ow! What the hell are you doing, ass-wipe?!
Beavis: Yeah! I'm kicking the bugs' ass! Yeah!
Butt-head: Ow! I'm gonna kick your ass, fartknocker! [kicks Beavis in the testicles]
Beavis: AAAAAAHHH! [falls down]
Butt-head: Now get up. We gotta, like, use an infesticide.
Two people are fighting in the video
Beavis: Yeah come on! You think you're bad, you wanna do something about it? Let's go!
Butt-head: I don't there's anybody on TV you can kick ass on, except for maybe like Urkel.
Beavis: I don't know, Butt-head. Urkel's pretty big now. He's like 6'7" or something.
Suicidal Tendencies, Institutionalized
Beavis: Yeah come on! You think you're bad, you wanna do something about it? Let's go!
Butt-head: I don't there's anybody on TV you can kick ass on, except for maybe like Urkel.
Beavis: I don't know, Butt-head. Urkel's pretty big now. He's like 6'7" or something.
Suicidal Tendencies, Institutionalized
[ DJ Hurricane appears in the video, a caption reads "Fred Kelly as Bunny"]
Beavis: Hey Butt-head, see, there's Fred Kelly, he plays Bunny.
Butt-head: Yeah.
[MCA appears once again, but as a different character, a caption reads "starring Nathan Wind as Cochese"]
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, it's Nathan Wind, see? It's Cochese!
Butt-head: Cochese is cool.
Beavis: Yeah, Cochese kicks ass!
[ Ad-Rock appears in the video, a caption reads "Vic Colfari as Bobby, 'The Rookie'"]
Beavis: Hey Butt-head, see, there's Fred Kelly, he plays Bunny.
Butt-head: Yeah.
[MCA appears once again, but as a different character, a caption reads "starring Nathan Wind as Cochese"]
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, it's Nathan Wind, see? It's Cochese!
Butt-head: Cochese is cool.
Beavis: Yeah, Cochese kicks ass!
[ Ad-Rock appears in the video, a caption reads "Vic Colfari as Bobby, 'The Rookie'"]
[ MCA, in costume, exits a hotel, a caption reads "guest starring Sir Stewart Wallace as himself"]
Beavis: Now that's Stewart Wallace, see? Sir Stewart Wallace, he plays himself. This is gonna be cool when the video finally comes out.
Butt-head: Uhh, what are you talking about, Beavis?
Beavis: You know, when the real video finally comes out?
Butt-head: This is the video, dumbass.
Beavis: No way! That's cool.
Beavis: Now that's Stewart Wallace, see? Sir Stewart Wallace, he plays himself. This is gonna be cool when the video finally comes out.
Butt-head: Uhh, what are you talking about, Beavis?
Beavis: You know, when the real video finally comes out?
Butt-head: This is the video, dumbass.
Beavis: No way! That's cool.
[ Trent Reznor starts singing]
Beavis: Yes! Yes!
Butt-head: Rock! [Beavis and Butt-head do their signature headbanging]
Beavis: Yes! Yes!
Butt-head: Rock! [Beavis and Butt-head do their signature headbanging]
["The Chief" kicks through a steel gate]
Beavis: YEAH!!! Check this part out. Yeah, they're gonna kick some ass now!
Butt-head: Beavis, you said you were gonna shut up.
Beavis: Oh sorry. I'm just gonna shut up and listen. [Cochese kicks a concrete wall] Yeah, yeah, kick it!
Beavis: YEAH!!! Check this part out. Yeah, they're gonna kick some ass now!
Butt-head: Beavis, you said you were gonna shut up.
Beavis: Oh sorry. I'm just gonna shut up and listen. [Cochese kicks a concrete wall] Yeah, yeah, kick it!
[A ballet dancer's legs are shown as the video starts]
Butt-head: Uh...get ready for a surprise! You think it's a girl, [camera scrolls up to dancer's face] but it's a guy!
Beavis: Oh yeah! You think it's gonna be a girl, but it's a guy, see! So it's like, confusing...it's like strange, you know.
Butt-head: [laughs] Yeah.
Butt-head: Uh...get ready for a surprise! You think it's a girl, [camera scrolls up to dancer's face] but it's a guy!
Beavis: Oh yeah! You think it's gonna be a girl, but it's a guy, see! So it's like, confusing...it's like strange, you know.
Butt-head: [laughs] Yeah.