Beavis and Butt-Head quotes
1300 total quotesButthead: Hey Beavis, you ever done a dirty deed?
Beavis: Yeah. I spanked my monkey one time.
Beavis: Yeah. I spanked my monkey one time.
Butthead: If these guys practiced their instruments, as much as they practiced shaking their hair around, they'd be like pretty good, probably.
Beavis: I don't know, they'd probably still suck, probably. But you know maybe that's just me, I don't know.
Carcass, Heartwork [the band members have long blonde hair]
Beavis: I don't know, they'd probably still suck, probably. But you know maybe that's just me, I don't know.
Carcass, Heartwork [the band members have long blonde hair]
Butthead: Is this like, grudge music?
Beavis: Grudge music is that stuff that guys from Seattle play. Where is Seattle? Hey Butthead, where's Seattle?
Butthead: You don't know? It's that place where like stuff is really cool.
Beavis: Grudge music is that stuff that guys from Seattle play. Where is Seattle? Hey Butthead, where's Seattle?
Butthead: You don't know? It's that place where like stuff is really cool.
Butthead: THese guys always wear the same clothes. That's cool. Hey, we always wear the same clothes! I've had this shirt on for six months!
Beavis: I've had this on for seven months.
Accept, Balls to the Wall
Beavis: I've had this on for seven months.
Accept, Balls to the Wall
Butthead: Was this guy raised by wolves?
Beavis: Yeah. Wolves are cool. If you were like raised by wolves, you could like, go take a leak in the forest, and like, take a dump too. And then you'd like kill sheep and stuff.
Butthead: You could take a dump in the woods, even if you weren't raised by wolves, dude.
Beavis: Oh yeah.
Melvins, Hooch
Beavis: Yeah. Wolves are cool. If you were like raised by wolves, you could like, go take a leak in the forest, and like, take a dump too. And then you'd like kill sheep and stuff.
Butthead: You could take a dump in the woods, even if you weren't raised by wolves, dude.
Beavis: Oh yeah.
Melvins, Hooch
Butthead: Where the hell is this?
Beavis: Yeah yeah, why are they playing way the hell out in the middle of no where?
Beavis: Yeah yeah, why are they playing way the hell out in the middle of no where?
Butthead [with the string tied to the door and to Beavis's stomach] (laughs and closes the door)
Beavis AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Blood goes all over the room]
Butt-head goes up to a woman coming out of a gas station rest-room.
Beavis AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Blood goes all over the room]
Butt-head goes up to a woman coming out of a gas station rest-room.
Butthead: [trying to pronounce "symptoms"] Sym-sym-Simpsons? Uh, they're pretty cool.
[after Butt-head tosses a baby bird into the air]
[after Butt-head tosses a baby bird into the air]
Buzz Osborne: Los ticka toe rest...
Butt-head: What? I can't understand what he's saying.
Beavis: What's your problem, dumbass? He's saying, like, um...
Buzz Osborne: ...sender bright like a penelty...
Beavis: Done brine like a pelty? Yeah, that's cool.
Butt-head: What? I can't understand what he's saying.
Beavis: What's your problem, dumbass? He's saying, like, um...
Buzz Osborne: ...sender bright like a penelty...
Beavis: Done brine like a pelty? Yeah, that's cool.
Buzzcut: Butthead, do you have an explanation for your inexplicable behavior?!
Butthead: Uhh...I was dead? Uh huh huh.
Beavis: Heh heh. Yeah. He was dead. Heh heh.
Butthead: Uhh...I was dead? Uh huh huh.
Beavis: Heh heh. Yeah. He was dead. Heh heh.
Buzzcut [Whilst tending to Tommy]: Beavis, get back here!
Beavis: Let's get outta here before he screws us all!
[Beavis and Butt-head walk out]
Beavis: Let's get outta here before he screws us all!
[Beavis and Butt-head walk out]
Buzzcut: [teaching Beavis and Butt-head how to urinate after they forget how] Okay boys! I'm gonna make this easy! On the count of one, unzip your pants! And one, unzip your pants! [Beavis and Butt-head laugh] On the count of two, take out your penises!
Beavis: Two's my favorite, heh heh.
Buzzcut: And two! On the count of three, start leaking! Three, let's go! LEAK, LEAK, LEAK, LEAK, LEAK!
[Beavis and Butt-head obviously don't urinate]
Butt-head: Huh huh huh.
Buzzcut: Okay, you wussies. You're gonna stand right there until you can get it right. And don't come out until you're done. [Buzzcut leaves]
[Beavis and Butt-head continue to laugh]
Beavis: Two's my favorite, heh heh.
Buzzcut: And two! On the count of three, start leaking! Three, let's go! LEAK, LEAK, LEAK, LEAK, LEAK!
[Beavis and Butt-head obviously don't urinate]
Butt-head: Huh huh huh.
Buzzcut: Okay, you wussies. You're gonna stand right there until you can get it right. And don't come out until you're done. [Buzzcut leaves]
[Beavis and Butt-head continue to laugh]
Buzzcut: All right, losers: remember, you're competing against other classess, and I'll be damned if my class is gonna lose!