Life. What a beautiful choice.
Life. It sucks! All these kids have one thing in common - they're all here because a couple people did it. [Yanni fades in on screen] Whoa, look at that, it's Geraldo!
Come on, change it, Butt-head.
I can't believe they're even showing this.
This guy is the biggest butthole I've ever seen in my life.
Yeah. Change it, Butt-head. Come on, gimme that!
Uhh, wait a minute, I think it's about to rock. [turns the volume up as loud as it can go]
Come on, dammit Butt-head, cut it out!
No way, Beavis. You like this.
Shut up, Butt-head! No I don't! Turn it down!
Hey Beavis, did you know that this guy is your dad?
AAAAAAHHHH!!! NOOOOOO!!!!
You're a dumbass, Beavis. You just, like, believe anything anybody tells you.
Um, no. I was just kidding.
Check it out. She's leaving him because he sucks.
Yes, Owner of a Lonely Heart
Yep, that's him, officer.
And punch him! He deserves it. He sucks!
We charge you with being in a sucky video for a crappy song.
Yeah, yeah. Guilty as charged!
Whoa, where are they taking him?
I think they're gonna go torture him somewhere, like, to get him to say something.
Oh yeah. You mean, like, "I'm a monkey's uncle"?
No, dumbass! Like, y'know, where the money is, or something like that.
If I was that dude, I'd just, like, kick 'em in the nads, and then like smack their heads together, then just like tear ass!
Beavis, if that was you, they'd just, like, touch you, and then you'd go "Aaaahhh!!! I'm a monkey's uncle and I put the money in my backyard!"
They're making him fight the janitor.
If I was a janitor, I'd like, throw a bunch of sawdust with puke at him, and then I'd go "Now who's bad?"
[a man jumps off a tall building]
Yeah yeah, now this is gettin' good. [The man transforms into a bird] What? He turned into a bird!
If I could turn into a bird, I'd turn into a cock.
Yolanda Be Cool feat. DCUP, We No Speak Americano
This first part of the song sounds like the music they play at the Olive Garden.
Oh yeah, yeah. But then it kicks ass later.
Yeah. The Olive Garden kicks ass too.
Yeah, yeah. I like to go there and stuff my face with breadsticks, 'cause they're free.
If you leave that place hungry, you're just stupid.
[At the chorus]
Now this is the cool part of the song.
Yeah. Remember when you asked that waitress at the Olive Garden to dance, and then she slapped you and the manager threw you out.
She probably would have danced with me because I have better moves.
No you don't. Check this out. [Beavis pretends to penetrate the top of the couch and sings the beat]
Uh... your moves suck, Beavis. Check this out. [Beavis flails his arms while Butt-head jumps from one side to the other]
Gary Young, Plantman
Um...is this Robert Plant?
Whoa, check it out, that's that thing I always play on the drums. I can play that. [imitates randomly hitting a drum kit] Dadadadah dudududuh dudududuh dudududuh duh!
That's probably the only thing this guy can play. He like, brings his friends over and goes "Hey check this out. Dudududuh dudududuh dudududuh duh!"
He's probably like, one of those rich kids. Like, his parents bought him a guitar, and he couldn't play that either.
Yeah, yeah. And then he said "Well, maybe if I get a really cool suit, then that'll help."
Dammit. This Nickelodeon crap has gone too far.
Heyy, Butt-head. Heyy, I just thought of something. Who do you think would win in a fight between Plantman and Spoonman?
Uhh...I think Spoonman would win, cause he's, like, a bum. And he could, like, beat his head with spoons.
Heyy, I just thought of something else.
How come you keep doing that, Beavis?
That thing where you go "Heyy,"
I dunno. It kinda feels good. Heyy, how's it goin'? Heyy.
Uhh, heyy. This does feel pretty good.
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
