William Guarnere quotes from Band of Brothers

Guarnere

[on Bull's MIA status] If there ain't no body, then there ain't nobody dead.

Guarnere

[to Bull] I don't know whether to slap you, kiss you, or salute you.

Guarnere

[about Dike] Jesus Christ. Gotta go through all this, with a C.O.'s got his head so far up his fuckin' ass that the lump in his throat is his goddamn nose.

Guarnere

Hey, Joe! Told ya I was gonna beat ya back to the States!

Guarnere

Eh, I like Winters, he's a good man. But when the bullets start flyin', I don't know if I want a Quaker doing my fighting for me.

How do you know he's a Quaker?

Guarnere

He ain't Catholic.

Malarkey

Neither is Sobel.

Guarnere

That prick's a Son of Abraham.

Liebgott

What?

Guarnere

He's a Jew.

Liebgott

I'm a Jew.

Guarnere

Congratulations, get your nose outta my face.

Lipton

Now, if we are all going to go through with this, we all have to be aware of the consequences.

Martin

I don't care about the consequences.

Lipton

John. We could be lined up against a wall and shot. Now, I'm ready to face that. And the rest of you better be, too.

Guarnere

[Regarding Sobel] I will not follow that man into combat.

Me neither.

Lipton

Alright, then. Let's do it.

Guarnere

"I hereby...no longer wish to serve...as a Non-Commissioned Officer...in Easy Company." [they each then sign their individual papers and hand them to Lipton]

Lipton

Alright then. Good luck. [leaves to take the papers to Col. Sink]

Malarkey

Hey, I promised my baby brother I'd fetch him back a Luger, so I get first dibs, okay? [to an 82nd soldier] Check that one.

Lipton

It's the navy.

Winters

The landings have started. Let's go.

[looks at his watch] Right on time.

Guarnere

Yeah? [points to a dead American paratrooper] Well, tell him that, Cowboy.

My name's Hall.

Guarnere

Is that so?

Guarnere

Hiya, Cowboy!

Shut your fucking Guinea trap, Gonorrhea!

Guarnere

[Pauses, then smiles] He's alright, that kid!

Guarnere

Let the Krauts cook their own goddamn food. How are we doing, Malarkey?

Malarkey

We're doing good.

Yeah? What the hell do you know about cooking; you're Irish.

Malarkey

Sir, if you have a reservation someplace else, I'd be happy to go with you.

Guarnere

Ooh, Christ, gimme some air.

Winters

Whoo. Did something just die in here?

Welsh

Yeah, Malarky's ass.

Any word on Lieutenant Meehan yet, sir?

Winters

No, not yet.

Guarnere

Don't that make you our commanding officer, sir?

Winters

Yeah, it does.

Toye

Sir? [offers Winters a bottle of wine]

Guarnere

Joe, the Lieutenant don't drink.

Winters

[Takes the bottle] It's been a day of firsts. [drinks, then hands bottle to Guarnere] Don't you think, Guarnere?

Guarnere

[pause] Yes, sir.

Winters

Carry on.

Winters

Oh, and Sergeant?

Guarnere

Sir?

Winters

I'm not a Quaker. [leaves]

Guarnere

Hey, if he's from Lancaster County, he's probably a Mennonite.

Toye

What's a Mennonite?

A lot of you guys get injured?

Martin

It's called "wounded", peanut. Injured is when you fall out of a tree or something.

Muck

Don't worry. There's enough crap flying around here, you're bound to get dinged sometime. Almost every single one of these guys' been hit at least once. Except for Alley, he's a two-timer. He landed on broken glass in Normandy and got peppered by a potato masher in Holland. Now, Bull, he got a piece of an exploding tank in Holland. Now, George Luz, here...has never been hit. You're one lucky bastard.

Luz

Takes one to know one, Skip.

Muck

Eh, consider us blessed. Now, Liebgott, that skinny little guy? He got pinged in the neck in Holland. Now, right next to him, that other skinny little guy, is Popeye. He got shot in his scrawny little butt in Normandy. And, uh, Buck got shot in his rather large butt in Holland.

Penkala

Yeah, kind of an Easy Company tradition, getting shot in the ass.

Muck

Hey, even 1st Sgt. Lipton over there. He got a couple of pieces of a tank shell burst in Carentan. One chunk in the face, another chunk almost took out his nuts.

Guarnere

How are those nuts, sarge?

Lipton

Doing fine, Bill...nice of you to ask.