Frank Perconte quotes from Band of Brothers

Sobel

[Addressing whole platoon.] You people are at the position of attention! [To Perconte] Private Perconte, have you been blousing your trousers over your boots like a paratrooper?

Perconte

No, sir.

Sobel

Then explain the creases at the bottom.

Perconte

No excuse, sir.

Sobel

Volunteering for the Parachute Infantry is one thing, Perconte, but you've got a long way to prove that you belong here. Your weekend pass is revoked. [moves on] Name?

Luz

Luz, George.

Sobel

[examining Luz's M1 rifle] Dirt in the rear sight aperture. Pass revoked. [walks over to another soldier] When did you sew on these Chevrons, Sergeant Lipton?

Lipton

Yesterday, sir.

Sobel

[displays a loose thread pulled from the stripe] Long enough to notice this – revoked.

Lipton

Sir. [Sobel walks over to another soldier.]

Sobel

Name.

Malarkey

Malarkey, Donald G!

Sobel

Malarkey is slang for "bullshit," isn't it? [takes his rifle]

Malarkey

Yes, sir!

Sobel

Rust on the butt-plate hinge spring, Private Bullshit – revoked. [tosses his rifle at Malarkey and moves on] Name.

Liebgott

Liebgott, Joseph, D, sir.

Sobel

Rusty bayonet, Liebgott. You want to kill Germans?

Liebgott

Yes, sir.

Sobel

[knocks his helmet with the bayonet] Not with this. [to the whole platoon] I will not take this rusty piece of shit to war, and I will not take you to war in your condition. [throws bayonet to the ground] Now thanks to these men and their infractions, every man in the company who had a weekend pass has lost it. Change into your PT gear. We're running Currahee.

Perconte

How far do you think we're going?

Luz

Jesus Christ, Frank, I don't know. Until they tell us to stop!

Perconte

Got any souvenirs to trade?

What?

Perconte

[pulls his sleeve up, showing several wristwatches on his forearm and wrist] They're all tickin', unlike their previous owners.

Martin

Hey, Frank, you keep cleaning those teeth the Germans are going to see you a mile away. Shoot ya dead.

Perconte

[brushing teeth] That's right, Pee Wee, you keep laughin'.

[Doc Roe shows up] Hey, Doc. [Roe opens Perconte's pack and starts dumping it out]

Perconte

Doc, that's my stuff. Aww, come on, Doc...

What, you got a drug store in here?

Perconte

No, I own my stuff! Well, what are you looking for?

Scissors. [Pockets the scissors] Thank you, Perconte.

Perconte

Took my goddamn scissors!

Perconte

Hey, O'Brien. Shut up!

I told you, it's O'Keefe.

Perconte

Do you know why no one remembers your name? It's because no one wants to remember your name. There's too many Smiths, DiMattos and O'Keefes and O'Briens, who show up here, replacing Toccoa men that you dumb replacements got killed in the first place! And they're all like you! They're all piss and vinegar. "Where're the Krauts at? Let me at 'em! When do I get to jump into Berlin?" Two days later, there they are with their blood and guts hanging out and they're screaming for a medic, begging for their goddamn mother. Dumb fucks don't even know they're dead yet. Hey, you listening to me? Do you understand this is the best part of the fucking war I've seen? I've got hot chow, hot showers, warm bed. Germany is almost as good as being home. I even got to wipe my own ass with real toilet paper today. So, quit asking about when you're gonna see real action, will you?! And stop with the fucking love songs!

Perconte

When did you ship out? A few weeks ago?

Yeah.

Perconte

It's been two years since I've seen home. Two years. This fucking war.

Perconte

Dammit, Shifty! The Army's going to be glad to get rid of you.

I wish, you know? Turns out, they want me to stay for a while.

Are you serious?

Yup.

How many points are you short?

Fifteen.

Fifteen? Jesus Christ, I thought I had it bad.

No Purple Hearts, never was injured.