[comes in the garage] Hi, ALF.
Willie, what's another word for beautiful?
Attractive.
What's another word for attractive?
Alluring.
What's another word for alluring?
Annoying.
What's another word for annoying?
ALF.
That doesn't work. It doesn't rhyme with Oh, Baby.
What are you working on there?
This is a missive of love onnbehalf of young Jake Ochmonek.
Jake, is in love?
Disgustingly so. But he thinks of himself as just another scrawny gawky, geeky kid. You remember the feeling, Willie.
You better, uh, you better be careful, ALF. You can get into trouble playing Cyrano.
Is that like Monopoly?
No, I'm talking about "Cyrano de Bergerac." It's a play. I-I've got a copy of it somewhere. It's-it's a classical French play about a man named Christian who falls in love with a beautiful woman but he is too embarrassed to talk to her.
That sounds like Jake.
Exactly. So he gets his friend Cyrano to-to write a letter to the girl for him because Cyrano is-is so gifted and sensitive.
That sounds like me.
Cyrano's a great romantic but he is ashamed to talk to women in person because he's got a very big, [pause] and they all lived happily ever after.
Whoa, whoa! Big-big-big, big what?
[struggles] Nose.
Huh?
Umm, nose.
What?
Very large nose.
Well, why didn't you say so?
Well, I thought I, I mean, I, I thought I-
You thought I might be offended because this Cyrano guy had a jumbo hooter and I happen to take a husky in snout warmers?
Oh, yes.
No problem. I'm not that vain.
Oh, I'm sorry, ALF. I, I guess I misjudged you.
Thanks, four eyes.
More from this episode
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