“Tonight, Tonight” quotes from ALF

ALF

Thank you. Thank you. For those of you who don't know me, I'm ALF. The answer to the burning question who's the only NBC star with more hair than Michael Landon? Yo, Ed. Nice to see ya.

Oh, welcome to "The Tonight Show", ALF.

ALF

Ed was missing last week. So the cops put his picture on a 6 pack of Budweiser. [laughs] Also with us tonight is Mr. Tommy Newsom.

Hi, ALF.

ALF

After the show tonight, Tommy and I are gonna go out and paint the town beige.

I got a brush right here.

ALF

Good one, Tom! You hang on to that. Tommy's not dull. He was just weaned on Novocain. Well, I'm glad all of you can get in 'cause it sure was hot out there today.

How hot was it?

ALF

What am I, a thermometer? Hey, we have a fabulous show for you tonight. We've got Joan Embery, Joyce Brothers and a Pope. So stay tuned, we'll be right back.

Nice going, ALF. You're 2 for 2. Why don't you get the Pope out here and try for a shutout?

ALF

Ha! Good one Driver's Ed! Ha! [knocks over Johnny's mug]

Ooh! You broke Johnny's cup!

ALF

Hey, that's nothing. You should see what I did to his dressing room.

Boy, you are in big trouble mister.

ALF

Oh, hey, this isn't trouble, I'll show you trouble.

ALF

I'd like to thank my guests Joyce, Joan and, of course, Pope. Johnny, sorry about your cup and your dressing room. And the limo. Did I say limo? That wasn't me, just the first two. Good night, everybody! How'd he get those whites so white?