Accidentally on Purpose quotes

[clinging to Brian] He used to call me his muse. Didn't you?

Well, I called you a lot of things. Muse was one of them.

Billie

Yep, it's great. You gotta try it sometime. I gotta go wet my whistle. [goes to Olivia] Oh my god, wet my whistle? Who was talking just now, Humphrey Bogart?

Davis

Wait a second. When does the movie start?

Billie

We have been watching it for 45 minutes.

Davis

Ah. I thought it was just a really informative trailer. I have been saying to myself over and over, "They are really giving the whole movie away!"

Billie

[amused] Yeah, this is better than having a boyfriend.

Davis

Oh, the irony. They put the contraceptives right next to the baby food.

Zack

You should see this list of baby essentials. When all is said and done, that single orgasm is going to cost me four hundred and fifty thousand dollars.

Billie

You should write that down. It will go good in a birthday card someday.

Davis

No bro, that is a must have. It twists the diaper into a never ending sausage of baby crap.

Billie

And just like that, I have lost my appetite to ever eat a sausage again.

I'll tell you what- how about Tuesday? [hears a scream from kitchen] How about Monday?

Zack

Yeah, perfect.

This rain. This endless rain. It's making me cry. What a release.