"Oh, say can you see..."
Who's Jose? Jose, can you see?
S1 E13America's Most Wanted
Mary and I would like to go to dinner with John and Keisha tonight if that's ok. We'll be home early.
Well, what's the occasion?
No reason. We just haven't seen John and Keshia for a while, and we thought we'd grab a burger together. That's all.
Where?
The Varsity.
[to Eric] He's now covered who, what, when, where, and why.
What's this?
That's a glass.
Did you buy it at the Varsity?
No. I didn't buy it.
Did you take it without paying for it?
Dad, everyone takes something from the Varsity. It's like a school ritual.
It's like stealing. No, it is stealing.
[to the manager of the Varsity] I'm Eric Camden. I'm Matt's father.
MManager
I'm not dropping the charges.
Just hear me out first.
MManager
Ok, but I'm not dropping the charges.
My son knows he was wrong. That's why he apologized. Matt's learned his lesson.
MManager
That's not the problem. The problem is that the rest of those kids haven't learned anything. I lose thousands of dollars every year. If I raise the prices of food to cover the losses, I have no customers. Kids shouldn't steal, and they should learn that if they do, there are consequences. If I let Matt off the hook, they'll think they can get away with anything.
This isn't about all those other kids. They didn't come in here and apologize to you. This is about my boy. He tried to do the right thing, and he's getting punished for it. What kind of message is that?
MManager
It says there are consequences if you break the law. That's a message I'd like to get out. You got a problem with that?
Yeah, I do. Isn't the law supposed to be about justice and mercy as well as punishment?
MManager
I guess we'll find out tomorrow in court, won't we?
[singing] "Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the..." Hmm, hmm, hmm. "fight..."
It's "perilous fight."
What does perilous mean?
It means dangerous.
Then why don't they just say that?
Because that's how they talked in the olden days.
Why?
I don't know why. I just want to get some sleep.
[pauses, starts singing again] "Through the dangerous fight..."
You can't change the words. It's our national anthem!
But nobody understands it!
It's not meant to be understood. It's like opera.
I understand Oprah. I watch her on TV!
[to Ruthie] No, "hailed" is not a bad word, and neither is "hell" unless you say something like "Go to hell!"
[walks in] What did you say?!
Oh, um. I was just trying to explain that "hell" is not a bad word. It's just how you use it, like if you say something like "There's a heaven and a hell", that would be ok, right?
Yes, that would be ok, but that's not what I heard you say.
S1 E14Seven Is Enough
[about George] So you want him?
I don't know. We did always say we'd adopt after Mary.
Then after Lucy.
Then after Simon.
And now it's after Ruthie.
We'd be crazy to even consider it, I guess. Right?
We are crazy. We'll talk to the kids and George tomorrow.
[when he and Annie want to adopt George] I don't see where your opinion fits into this.
That's wonderful. You're dreaming again. Who's gonna pay for the kid? The adoption? The court costs? And let's not even get into how you're going to send him to college, or any of your other five, for that matter.
They'll get to college the same way I did, Dad. They'll get jobs.
You still resent me for not paying your way.
I don't still resent you. I never resented you for that.
Yes, you did then, and you still do. But you and your sister needed to learn that you have to work for the things that are important.
I know that, Dad. I get it.
Yeah, you get it because we taught you the value of hard work and discipline!
And I'm happy to credit you accordingly!
We just thought you might already have your hands full.
[when his parents say they're going to adopt George] George is not your average kid. He's had a tough life. The adoption itself is gonna be hard on him. He's gonna need a lot of love and support.
And you have a corner on that market?
No, of course not, but support of any kind isn't one of your strong suits.
That's not true.
Do you ever remember holding me or Julie when we were upset? Did you ever allow us to express any of our feelings?
If you're asking me if we wiped your noses and held your hands, then the answer is no. No, we were too busy keeping a roof over your heads and food on the table!
Well, there's more to parenting than that, Dad.
Oh, and what does that mean?
It means that you are not the parents for George.
GGeorge
[to the Camdens] Why can't you adopt me? I'll be good, and I'll stay out of your way. You won't even know I'm there!
George, listen to me. Eric is smart about these things. He knows what's right. He's a good man, a smart man, and if you're lucky, you'll grow up to be like him. Anyway, why would you want to live with a couple of old war horses like us? You've got a whole house full of great kids right here.
GGeorge
They're all dreamers.
There's nothing wrong with a little dreaming.
No. It's time you settled down and started a little dreaming of your own.
GGeorge
I already did. My dream was to be with you.
S1 E15Happy's Valentine
That was Patricia. She and Morgan were wondering if we'd like to drive up to Stedmond Caves tonight and go camping!
SRSimon and Ruthie
Yes!
No. No. Just me and your dad.
And what, we'll put the kids in a kennel?
No. They can stay here with the Hamilton kids.
And who's gonna babysit?
Not me.
No, of course not. Who would keep an eye on you?
I'm 17.
Exactly.
[As the Hamilton kids are coming in]
Hey, you know, don't stay up too late and um... don't eat too much junk food and have a good time!
How are they gonna have a good time if they can't eat junk food and can't stay up late?
Mommy, do we have to give the puppies away?
Yes, honey it's time. And they have a good home to go to.
We have a good home too.
Yes, but I think they starting to get so big that they are getting in Happy's way.
I get in your way, and you still keep me around.
Ah. It's not the same, sweetheart. It would be like you living here when you are 30.
I have to live somewhere else when I'm 30?
You'll probably want to live somewhere else when you're 30.
Yeah! Maybe even when I'm 7 or maybe 8.
S1 E16Brave New World
[as he is preparing Ruthie for the first day of school] A lot of kids cry when their moms drop them off on the first day of pre-kindergarten. Don't do that. Once inside the classroom, you'll probably do some counting. Beads, Cheerios, or something. Don't eat them, whatever they are. Then you'll probably color, glue, maybe cut. Don't get regular scissors. They'll only tear if you're a leftie, which you are.
[holds up her thumb] Right.
Your other right. Don't worry. After that, you're pretty much in the home stretch. Then you'll take a nap, you'll have a snack. Stay away if it's coconut, and then Mom will come to pick you up. Oh, yeah, and never, ever pick anything. It will come back to haunt you.
No crying, no coconut, no picking. Got it.
Good. I'm glad we had this little talk. Welcome to the big leagues.
I hate to interrupt this seminar, but one of us has a very big day tomorrow.
No kidding! My day is completely booked. School, lunch, recess, more school, Happy, and then homework. Where does the time go?
I have no idea, Simon.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's 7th Heaven pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.