[to Mary about Ruthie who is asleep] Poor thing! She must be exhausted from torturing me.
S1 E6Halloween
S1 E7Saturday
I've got some good news and bad news.
I'm Ashley. I don't get bad news.
Dad just goofed up, that's all.
Daddy doesn't goof up!
Mary's a team player. She has basketball to fit in. Simon already knows who he is, and Ruthie's five.
You forgot Lucy.
No I didn't. She's the one you need to worry about.
Why's that?
Well, because she always feels left out.
Hey, what punishment can I give Simon and Ruthie for wandering off the way they did?
Hmm... that's a tough one. Ruthie's so cute.
Yeah. She reminds me so much of your mother. And Simon's so funny, it's hard to be mad at funny.
You know, maybe you could not let them out of the house for a week.
Nice try not unless one of you wants to be locked up with them.
You forgot our punishment, Daddy.
[to himself] Unbelievable.
[in response to Eric and Annie kissing] How come you guys get to do that while we have to clean the bathroom?
This is my reward for cutting the grass.
Well, what do we get?
You get to live here for free.
S1 E8What Will People Say?
Men who abuse women are such cowards!
What can I do for you?
Let me get straight to the point. I heard that you and my wife are having an affair.
Yeah, I've heard those stories, but I don't believe any of them.
She'll never press charges against me. Never.
Where the hell have you been, Jake? This is 1996! Your wife doesn't have to press charges, she has two broken ribs. That's enough for the police; they'll press the charges.
[about his wife] You can't keep me away from her. I'll follow her to New York, you know.
I really wish you would, because I have a friend who's a judge there, and a couple other friends who work outside the system. You know the kind I mean? Bad people who've turned good but occasionally slip up? I'm sure they'll be glad to show you around New York.
[Simon sniffs Gabrielle's hair]
LLunch lady
What are you going to have sonny, peas or corn? [Simon continues smelling Gabrielle's hair] I said "peas or corn?"
I will have whatever she is having.
Corn.
S1 E9See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil
[to Annie] Weeks ago, I said Ruthie shouldn't move in with me, but did anybody listen? No. And what happens when nobody listens? [pulls up his shirt to reveal chicken pox] Someone gets hurt!
I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't even think.
Those are all normal feelings and reactions.
Not for Mom. She's been so calm about everything, and I just sat there while that piece of junk took all our stuff.
What do you think you should have done?
I don't know. Something. Anything but just sitting there and letting some guy rip off Mom's wedding ring.
You can't blame yourself. Whatever you did, it was perfect. It was perfect because it got you and Mom home safely. And it was just a ring. It wasn't our marriage.
And tell Eric I'm fine.
PPatrica
I have no idea of what you're talking about.
[smiling] How long is Eric planning to work this afternoon?
PPatrica
He'll be done by 6:00.
You wanna call him from here?
PPatrica
No, I'll wait until I get home, so he'll think his plan worked.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's 7th Heaven pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.