7th Heaven quotes

Mary

You're a freak, you know that. A total freak, freak, freak!

Matt

Yeah, your freak brother. And that entitles me to protect you anyway I see fit.

Mary

No it doesn't. It doesn't entitle you to protect anything. And who needs your protection?

Matt

Who, who!? You that's who. You're out with a guy two years older than you and you're making out with him in a cop car!

Mary

There is no law against making out! [turns to Sergeant Michaels] Is there, Sergeant Michaels? Is there a law against making out?!

Sergeant Michaels

I'm going to let you two settle this.

Mary

Yeah, I know how to settle this. I'm gonna open a can of whup-ass!

Matt

Yeah, you do that.

Mary

I will! I will!

Reverend, do you think dogs go to Heaven?

Eric

It may be debated in religious circles, but there's no debate in my heart. I know dogs go to Heaven.

Simon

The Tooth Fairy doesn't hex. The Tooth Fairy grants wishes. Good wishes.

Ruthie

The Tooth Fairy is branching out.

Annie

Stage fright?

Eric

I'm not nervous about marrying Heather and Mason. I'm nervous about how Matt's dealing with Heather's impending wedding.

Annie

It's funny. I always thought Matt and Heather would end up together.

Eric

So if there's anyone present who does not think these two should not wed, please speak now or forever hold your peace.

Matt

Don't do it. Heather, don't do it!

[to Mason] I'm sorry. [runs away with Matt from the altar]

Matt, please don't tell me you broke up my wedding just so we could go to the movies! I want to marry you. I thought you wanted to marry me.

Well, congratulations. Now that you've pushed me out of the picture, you could just move right on in.

Matt

I'm not the one who messed this all up. That was you. I'm not the one who had a girlfriend on the side. That was you. I'm not the one who broke Heather's heart. That was you. I may have ruined your wedding, but the day you decided to cheat on Heather, you ruined the relationship and you should be man enough to admit it!

Julie

We have an announcement.

Hank

Julie and I are going to get married and we don't want to wait.

Annie

Do you know that it was this time last year that I told you there were going to be two new Camdens.

Eric

Not again!

Annie

I'm not pregnant. If I were, the Zero Population Control people would come and take us away.

Eric

So instead of two new Camdens, there's going to be one new Hastings.

Thanks for ruining my wedding.

Matt

Anytime.

Annie

What's the matter? Eric!

Eric

I think I'm having a... heart attack.

Ruthie

Why did Daddy's heart attack him?

Simon

Some hearts just do that, I guess.

Matt

I'm moving in an apartment with John Hamilton. You know I love you, but I can't stay forever.

Eric

Life is beautiful. [walks away]

Annie

Ah, it is. It is. It is.

Matt

Too beautiful?

Annie

Just a smidge.

Mary

You know what your problem is, Lucy? You don't have basketball. You don't have anything. So next year, you're gonna be a senior and you're going to be trying to decide where you're going to college and how you're gonna pay for it, and I hope that nobody helps you figure it out.

Simon

You moved out and left me in charge of Mom, Dad, and the kids!

Matt

I didn't leave you in charge of anyone.

Simon

Nevertheless, that's exactly what I've been doing, and you're undermining my authority.

Matt

How?

Simon

How? By telling Ruthie that she doesn't have to take a bath, and....and by doing all kinds of things.

Matt

Like what?

Simon

Just stuff, okay?

Matt

Hey, don't get so upset!

Simon

It's too late for that, because I'm already upset. And you know what I'm most upset about? The fact that you find this all so funny, like I'm some kind of idiot or something.

Matt

When did I ever act like you were an idiot?

Simon

When I was shaving. (pause) I mean, it hurt my feelings! Did people make fun of you when you started shaving?

Matt

I'm sorry.

Simon

It's okay. I just wanted you to know.