Simon quotes from 7th Heaven

Simon

(just waking up) Hey where's Grandpa?

Eric

I'm sorry Simon but...he's gone.

Simon

Wow him too?

Eric

No, to Phoenix, Simon he went back to Phoenix.

Simon

(chuckling) Oh. I thought you meant---

Matt

Come on Simon let's go.

Annie

Simon, honey, we've talked about Heaven, remember? It's a place where good people go where they're surrounded by so much love.

Simon

Yeah, but I need to know where that is, Mom.

Annie

Oh. Well, it's...it's up there.

Simon

I was hoping you'd be a little more specific than that.

Where's your father? He's all right, isn't he?

Annie

Oh...um...yes, he is, he just...ah...

Simon

Don't worry, he's not dead, he just went back to Phoenix!

Simon

Nobody seems to know where you go when you die.

Ruthie

I know where.

Simon

You don't either.

Ruthie

Uh huh!

Simon

Fine, where?

Ruthie

I don't know the name, but I know it's where I was before I was born.

Simon

You were in Mommy's stomach before you were born.

Ruthie

No, before that.

Simon

I don't know where that is. I can't picture Grandma there.

Ruthie

Picture Grandma right here, in your heart.

Simon

Dad just goofed up, that's all.

Ruthie

Daddy doesn't goof up!

Ruthie

You forgot our punishment, Daddy.

Simon

[to himself] Unbelievable.

Simon

[in response to Eric and Annie kissing] How come you guys get to do that while we have to clean the bathroom?

Eric

This is my reward for cutting the grass.

Simon

Well, what do we get?

Annie

You get to live here for free.

What are you going to have sonny, peas or corn? [Simon continues smelling Gabrielle's hair] I said "peas or corn?"

Simon

I will have whatever she is having.

Corn.

Simon

Aunt Julie, you're hurting me!

Julie

Shut up and give me the key to the liquor cabinet!

Annie

[runs in the room and pulls her away] Get your hands off of him! Don't you ever touch my children!

Julie

Annie! Oh, God. Oh, God!

Annie

Get out of this house now!

Simon

Can I have coffee?

Annie

No, what's wrong?

Simon

I'm a new father, that's what's wrong. I got absolutely no sleep last night. Me and Ruthie were supposed to take turns with the feedings, but I couldn't get Ruthie up!

Annie

Why would you have to get up for feedings?

Simon

Well, every time the puppies ate, we fed Happy, so she wouldn't run out of milk!

Ruthie

Forget about the book. I have to learn "The Star Stapled Banner"!

Simon

It's called "The Star Spangled Banner", and you'll learn it in school.

Simon

"Oh, say can you see..."

Ruthie

Who's Jose? Jose, can you see?

Ruthie

[singing] "Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the..." Hmm, hmm, hmm. "fight..."

Simon

It's "perilous fight."

Ruthie

What does perilous mean?

Simon

It means dangerous.

Ruthie

Then why don't they just say that?

Simon

Because that's how they talked in the olden days.

Ruthie

Why?

Simon

I don't know why. I just want to get some sleep.

Ruthie

[pauses, starts singing again] "Through the dangerous fight..."

Simon

You can't change the words. It's our national anthem!

Ruthie

But nobody understands it!

Simon

It's not meant to be understood. It's like opera.

Ruthie

I understand Oprah. I watch her on TV!

Simon

[to Ruthie] No, "hailed" is not a bad word, and neither is "hell" unless you say something like "Go to hell!"

Eric

[walks in] What did you say?!

Simon

Oh, um. I was just trying to explain that "hell" is not a bad word. It's just how you use it, like if you say something like "There's a heaven and a hell", that would be ok, right?

Eric

Yes, that would be ok, but that's not what I heard you say.

Annie

That was Patricia. She and Morgan were wondering if we'd like to drive up to Stedmond Caves tonight and go camping!

Yes!

Annie

No. No. Just me and your dad.

Eric

And what, we'll put the kids in a kennel?

Annie

No. They can stay here with the Hamilton kids.

Eric

And who's gonna babysit?

Matt

Not me.

Eric

No, of course not. Who would keep an eye on you?

Matt

I'm 17.

Eric

Exactly.