Open government, Prime Minister. Freedom of information. We should always tell the press freely and frankly anything that they could easily find out some other way.
“The Grand Design” · Season 1, Episode 1
In this episode: James Hacker (5), Sir Humphrey Appleby (4), Bernard Woolley (1)
Wouldn't anybody... argue with me?
GHGeneral Howard
Serving officers obey orders without question!
What if I were to get drunk?
On the whole, it would be safer if you didn't.
Prime Minister, isn't conscription a courageous policy?
[panicking a bit] Courageous? Oh my God, is it?
With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
I don't want to obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
But it's a deterrent.
It's a bluff. I probably wouldn't use it.
Yes, but they don't know that you probably wouldn't.
They probably do.
Yes, they probably know that you probably wouldn't. But they can't certainly know.
They probably certainly know that I probably wouldn't.
Yes, but even though they probably certainly know that you probably wouldn't, they don't certainly know that although you probably wouldn't, there is no probability that you certainly would!
GHGeneral Howard
We don't need it. Complete waste of money. Totally unnecessary.
Well, that's what I said!
GHGeneral Howard
You're right.
And the whole defence staff agree?
GHGeneral Howard
No, the Navy want to keep it. It's launched from their submarines. Take away Trident, they'd hardly have a role left.
And the RAF?
GHGeneral Howard
Well, you could ask them if you're interested in the opinion of garage mechanics.
If you walked into a nuclear missile showroom, you would buy Trident. It's lovely, it's elegant, it's beautiful – it's quite simply the best, and Britain should have the best. In the world of the nuclear missile, it is the Savile Row suit, the Rolls-Royce Corniche, the Château Lafite 1945. It is the nuclear missile Harrods would sell you. What more can I say?
Only that it costs fifteen billion pounds and we don't need it.
Well, you could say that about anything at Harrods!
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