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SEASON 1

Yes, Minister · Season 1

Yes, Minister Season 1 quotes

24 quotes · page 2 of 2

S1 E6The Right to Know

Minister, I have something to say to you which you may not like to hear.

JHJim Hacker

Why should today be any different?

Minister, the traditional allocation of executive responsibilities has always been so determined as to liberate the ministerial incumbent from the administrative minutiae by devolving the managerial functions to those whose experience and qualifications have better formed them for the performance of such humble offices, thereby releasing their political overlords for the more onerous duties and profound deliberations which are the inevitable concomitant of their exalted position.

JHJim Hacker

I wonder what made you think I didn't want to hear that?

[How to guide ministers to making the right decisions]

FSir Frederick

[...] there are four words to be included in a proposal if you want it thrown out.

Complicated. Lengthy. Expensive. Controversial. And if you want to be really sure that the Minister doesn't accept it, you must say the decision is "courageous".

And that's worse than "controversial"?

Oh, yes! "Controversial" only means "this will lose you votes". "Courageous" means "this will lose you the election"!

[While going through the Minister's post]

You know the rules, Bernard - if it is not marked "Private and Confidential" we are obliged to open it.

What if it's marked "Daddy"?

[Humphrey tries to explain about Lucy's nude protest]

The Minister's daughter is to be...that is to say, she will not be...

Come on Humphrey, make a clean breast of it!

An unfortunate turn of phrase, Minister.

One: I am not a "badger-butcher". Two: badgers are not an endangered species. Three: the removal of protective status does not necessarily mean the badgers will be killed. Four: if a few badgers have to be sacrificed for the sake of a master plan that will save Britain's natural heritage - tough!

LLucy

[sarcastically gives a Nazi salute] Ze "master plan", mein Fuhrer! Ze end justifies ze means, does it?!

[After Sir Humphrey prevents Lucy's nude protest by telling her that the Hayward Spinney badger colony is non-existent]

Humphrey, was there one word of truth in that whole story that you told Lucy?

Minister, do you really want me to answer that question?

[thinks uneasily] No, I don't think I do.

[smiles] Quite so. Perhaps there are some things it is better for a Minister not to know?

S1 E7Jobs for the Boys

Bernard, Ministers should never know more than they need to know. Then they can't tell anyone. Like secret agents; they could be captured and tortured.

[shocked] You mean by terrorists?

[seriously] By the BBC, Bernard.

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