Yes, Minister · Season 3, Episode 1
“Equal Opportunities” · Season 3, Episode 1
In this episode: James Hacker (3), Bernard Woolley (2), Sir Humphrey Appleby (1)
[How to deal with a nonsensical complaint]
We can CGSM it.
CGSM?
Civil Service code, Minister. It stands for "Consignment of Geriatric Shoe Manufacturers".
What?
A load of old cobblers, Minister.
I'm not a civil servant. I shall use my own code. I shall write: "Round Objects".
You remember that letter you wrote "Round Objects" on?
Oh yes.
It's come back from Sir Humphrey's office. He's commented on it.
What does he say?
Who is Round and to what does he object?
Now, Minister, if you are going to promote women just because they're the best person for the job, you will create a lot of resentment throughout the whole of the Civil Service!
The three articles of Civil Service faith: it takes longer to do things quickly, it's more expensive to do them cheaply and it's more democratic to do them in secret.
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