Theodore Long, Eddie Guerrero and others in “Unfinished Business”

Theodore Long

Excuse me gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen, the reason I've called you all here tonight because I know you all have heard the rumors regarding John Cena. But I'm here to dispel those rumors and to set the record straight. John Cena will not be here tonight, and it's questionable when John Cena will return to action. Now, I wanted to respect John Cena's request in keeping this matter private, but since it has already been discussed several days ago on Raw without my knowledge, that I'm here to let you know everything that I know. Now last week after leaving SmackDown!, John Cena was involved in a melee at an after hours club. Now among other injuries, John Cena received several puncture wounds. Now one of the puncture wounds was to a vital organ.

Eddie Guerrero

Vital organ?

Long

One of his kidneys. Now I talked to the doctors, and they have informed me that a tremendous amount of damage was done, but they're fighting hard, and they're fighting hard every day to save his kidney. So the difficult task that faces me now is I have to move SmackDown! forward. Oh and by the way, John Cena, I received a message from him letting me know that the show must go on. And the hardcore fact of the matter is, is that this situation leaves an open question? Who will be the number one contender for the United States Championship? [the roster starts demanding to be named the number one contender] Gentlemen. Gentlemen, ladies, here's what it's going to be tonight. Here's what it's going to be tonight. Tonight, we will have an open invitation battle royal to determine who will be the number one contender for the United States Championship. Now are there any questions? If not, thank you all for coming, and gentlemen, good luck out there tonight.

Excuse me Teddy. You know those hip hop guys like Cena? They're nothing but thugs. Sooner or later, this was bound to happen. That's not cool.