WrestleMania Season 1 quotes

[during the invitational battle royal] Dr. Frank Jobe would have a picnic at this thing.

Hey, Uecker, know something?

Yeah, what?

With your lifetime batting average of .200, that means with every swing, you could only hit one guy out of five.

Well, at least the guys that went out first got their per diem money.

Well...

You know what I mean?

Yes, I know.

It's the only way to go.

Please! I'm going to have trouble broadcasting with the Body and Uecker here.

[After Ken Patera eliminated Nikolai Volkoff, he gets Boris Zhukoff out as well] Hey U.S.A is in! Yes sir!

[Bad News Brown eliminates Patera from behind] Yeah there went U.S.A., Uecker.

That's kinda like talking to the third base coach before you lay down the bunt, Uecker. Then again, in your case, Ueck, you gotta make contact with the ball.

[reading proclamation] "Whereas the World Wrestling Federation has experienced certain extraordinary circumstances concerning the Championship, and whereas the World Wrestling Federation sought to establish a fair and just way to diligently determine who should be the undisputed WWF Champion, and whereas WrestleMania IV has selected as the specific site to determine who will be the undisputed Champion by way of an elimination championship tournament, and whereas the top 14 competitors in the World Wrestling Federation have been selected and paired and are present in readiness to compete, I now proclaim that the championship tournament should begin." With champagne wishes and caviar dreams, may the best man win. I'm Robin Leach and I do know why.

You know what'd be unique that just came to mind to me, Gorilla? Let's say if DiBiase advances here, and let's say Andre beats Hogan, that means that DiBiase and Andre would face each other...correct?

Not necessarily—if DiBiase's victorious here, he has to meet the winner of the Muraco/Bravo match.

Right, but let's just say that DiBiase wins twice, it could end up Andre/DiBiase; what will happen?

Well, money will talk, I think, Jess.

You think Andre'd step aside, or will DiBiase step aside and let Andre go forward, feeling he's the unbeatable man?

Well, it's possible, but he tried that before, and he knows that he can't get the belt without beating the champion.

For what you did to that dog, the ASPCKGBY ought to be on you forever.

I don't have to take insults from you or anybody else. You talk about people writing in letters? You had over 700,000 votes to get into the Hall of Fame. You'd have had a lot more than that, but you ran out of stamps.

What was your biggest weight that you wrestled at?

440. Superheavyweight.

440. The heck did you eat when you weighed 440?

Just about everything...

I know, you were on a see-food diet, right? You ate everything you saw.

I know right where Vanna's at, but I just can't say my room number over the air.

It takes a man-and-a-half to do that.

What, to sit out there and pose?

Chico learned that move in the Mexican Football League. The MFL.

Introducing first: accompanied by himself...uh-uh—he's got the big boy with him, Andre the Giant. Here is the Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase.

Biggest tag team in professional wrestling today, bar none.

Well, I won't argue with that unless you've got a double, Gorilla.

Million dollar champion? Who did he beat?

I know who he beat. He beat the banker.

If you make a mistake in this league, it'll cost you the match.

But not the Million Dollar Belt.

No, definitely not, because the guy wouldn't put it up.

Yeah, but you know, you think about it Gorilla, what is Brutus putting up for collateral?

His reputation.

Aw, that's worth about two cents.