Dad, I know why you are here. You are going to tell me Brian is repentant for burning down the house.
When did I say that? I agree you should throw Brian out.
What?!
Brian has had enough chances in life. He frittered away opportunities most of us never get, such as at NASA. When you planned to marry Carol, he ran off with her, and then it was a rivalry between you and him for Helen. It is time for him to grow up and he needs to do so the hard knocks way. But you do have to admit, he has a sense of surprise. Like that one Christmas where we got you the bicycle. Remember in those days they sold them unassembled and Brian thought it would be neat to surprise you with it assembled by him?
Right, and he actually did a pretty good job at it, just forgetting an eensy-weensy detail. Then Brian decided to goad me into testing out the bike atop the Seven Hills. That was when I learned the small part Brian forgot was the brakes! Thank goodness I collided with that snowman at the bottom of the Seven Hills.
That was no snowman. That was the Mather kid in a white parka eating a carrot.
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