Joe and Donald in “Unfinished Business”

Joe

Why are you here, Dad?

I am not here to haunt you, I promise. I am just here to tell you I am proud of you. You had every chance to take the easy way out; you know, be like one of those wimps in group therapy. "Hello, my name is Joe and I had a crap childhood. Wah, wah, wah!"

Joe

No Dad, I could not afford to get in touch with my inner child. Not with you going gonzo.

Well excuse me Joe. I wish you all the best with Helen. God forbid anything happen with Helen and you that what happened between your mother and I. I remember it like an ordinary day, where she told me "OK Don, the boys' dinner is in the fridge for tonight, the bed is made, I am moving to Phoenix and you are not!"

Joe

Granted, I hated Mom walking out on us too, but that was still no excuse for me to have to then take care of Brian and then you in getting calls from the sheriff such as "Joe Hackett, can you come pick up your father at the station? My men arrested him for participating in the American Legion Ladies' Auxiliary chili cook-off stark naked!"

I still don't see why that was a reason for the Ladies' Auxiliary to disqualify me from the contest!