TV QuotesDatabase
S1 E15

Wilfred · Season 1, Episode 15

Ryan and Wilfred in “Unfinished Business”

I wasn't going to tell you, because you've been acting so negative lately, but I'm going on a date tomorrow night.

[mockingly] A date? With who?

[nervously] No one. Just... someone I met.

Met where?

Well, I... [glances towards his laptop]

[Wilfred runs over to the laptop and opens it]

[haltingly] No.

"LoveMatchDating.com"?

Oh, my God!

Please tell me that donkey-faced thing with the braces is not the chick you're going out with.

Ryan (protesting): She doesn't have braces!

Yeah, you just can't see them, cause they're probably on her legs. How do you think she supports that massive donkey face?

I think she's a great match for me.

She's a partner at a marketing firm, she enjoys fitness, and she's looking for a long-term relationship.

It's way too soon for that. Let me find you a nice 'hit-it-and-quit-it' chick.

[Wilfred sits on the couch and browses through profiles on the website.]

Gross. Out of your league. Lazy eye. Balding Asian grandmother. Gross! Ooh! Here we go. [showing the page to Ryan] "Angelique"!

Ryan (shocked/disgusted): Are you kidding?

Are you kidding? "Favorite music: all types." This chick must be, like, an expert in music!

More from this episode

All quotes from this episode →

More Wilfred quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Wilfred pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.