TV QuotesDatabase
S1 E15

Wilfred · Season 1, Episode 15

Wilfred and Ryan in “Unfinished Business”

[referring to Spencer, whose house Ryan and Wilfred had broken into and whose boots they had defecated in] That motorcycle dick is ruining the neighborhood. You need to put that asshole in his place.

What's the point of a confrontation? I'd just get my ass kicked.

So what? That'd be less painful than walking around in constant fear.

What would you suggest I do?

March over there, look him straight in the eyes, and say, "I'm the man who shat in your boot." And bend him over and root him right up the ass.

[perplexed] You want me to have sex with him?

It's called domination. That's how dogs handle it and, believe me, it's very effective.

[shocked] And have you done this with another dog?

Every goddamn day.

I can't imagine a scenario in which I would do something like that.

[shrugging] Well, then you have no imagination.

[talking to a dog] If only that were true.

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