Kristen's always busting balls. Why doesn't she try licking them?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
"Seek respect mainly from thyself, for it comes first from within." - Steven H. Coogler
Come on, mate. Give us a bit of that gouda I'm smelling.
Wilfred, no, you can't have cheese.
Well what am I supposed to eat? The grass down here tastes like shit... and the shit tastes like grass!
[Ryan has just been mistaken for a homeless person]
Do I look homeless?
Well you are talking to a dog.
LLisa
[to Ryan] These people are ready to die. Hope is the last thing they need.
A coffin is the last thing they need. Up top!
Admit it, Ryan. You're not gettin' any satisfaction out of this. You're only here so Jenna and everyone will think you're a do-gooder.
Yeah, okay. I want to be admired. I want people to think I'm a good person like that douchebag in the park.
NNurse
That dog needs to go back where it came from.
Why don't you go back where you came from?! Right over there, where you were standing, before you came over here.
Well, here we are.
Woah! You said we were going for a walk. A walk, Ryan - which by definition means 'no destination'! Even a cat knows that.
"Conscience is the dog that can't bite, but never stops barking." - Proverb
What is the one thing that Jenna hates most about Drew.
The vaginal tearing from his huge cock.
He's a sore loser. Look, all I have to do is beat him at something, and make sure Jenna's there to see him lose his shit.
That's the stupidest, most ridiculous... Actually, that's pretty good. But there's one problem. Drew's a born winner, and you're... you.
Behold... The instrument of Drew's destruction. Bzzmm... My ping pong paddle from when I was all state table tennis champion.
So, chemistry, baking and ping pong. I guess my only question is, why were you not blowjobbed to death by the entire cheerleading squad?
"In general, pride is at the bottom of all great mistakes." - Steven H. Coogler
Now that I've met Raffie, how can I go back to bear? I mean bear did put me through obedience school, but does that mean I have to be unhappy for the rest of my life?
I don't know, Ryan. Sometimes I get the feeling that maybe Bear isn't the one.
Maybe you need to spice things up. Take Bear to a nice restaurant.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Wilfred pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.