“The Case of the Reef Thief” quotes from Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?

We have a report now from one of our agents in Italy. That's where she was last seen. Mona?

I told you. I am not in Italy anymore. And neither is the Contessa. She's at the festival commemorating Saint Marinus. It's a national holiday of the oldest republic in the world. At least that's what the citizens call it. The Contessa isn't so young either, hey. That's why she didn't get the toolfun from her summer home in Urbino.

Okay, thanks, Mona.

Chief, you there? Chief? The Chief's not here. Guess I'll just sit and wait for her. (laughs; sits at her desk) Oh, this is nice, huh? This is what it feels like. I like this. Hey! (magnifies his eye with her magnifying glass) Whoo! I like this. (imitates the Chief's voice) Greg. Greg. You're the nerve-center of this whole operation. You're the only one that I can count on. Carmen Sandiego is somewhere in the universe, Greg. The boys down at Photo Recon have put together a few slides. Lemme show 'em to ya. (turns on the slide projector displaying a blank image) The earth. Population 5,000,000,000. Nice place. Try food. It's a local specialty. (displays a second blank image) The sun. Climate sunny. Don't go barefoot. (laughs and displays a third blank image) Black hole. Roaches check in, but they don't check out. (audience doubles over in laughter) (the Chief walks in) That's the universe. Remember the ACME Triangle of Excellence. (forms the triangle with his hands) My left hand. My right hand. Thumbs. Greg, what're you doing? GRE--!

Chief

(turns off the projector) GREG!

Chief

You're wasting time! Now, you and the gumshoes have got to find Carmen Sandiego. And I will give a trip anywhere in the lower 48 states to the one that does.

Chief, look, uh, I knew you realize I wasn't makin' fun of you; it was more like a tribute, sorta.

Chief

Go away.

Yes, ma'am. (exits the office)

Carmen, I think they're on to me! Send me someplace really fabulous!

Sorry, glamour-puss. Take the reef to a beach town in New Jersey.

(gasps) Ah, the one with the casinos!

No, it has no casinos. But it has a famous boardwalk and an old bar called The Stone Pony, where Bruce Springsteen's Band started out.

Carmen, I want glamor! Not an old bar!

Tough, toots. Have some cotton candy for me.

Now, for our next clue we go to ACME Rap-Net. Here's D-Nice.

Check it. It's called the City of Roses; there's a festival in June. And not a lot of skyscrapers; a block away the moon. It was founded by Lovejoy and Pettygrove too. And there you have it. The D-Nice clue for you.

Thanks, D.

I tell ya, on a tough case like this, I always make sure that I check with the founder of ACME Crime-Net. It's the Chief's great-grandmother, Agnes Acme. She always knows what to do.

That's Miss Acme to you, young man. Now quit looking at me, and look for the Contessa in the province of Saskatchewan. She's in a city who's name is a Native American word for "berry". It was founded by anti-alcohol activists, and in my day they were called temperance societies. Now don't ruminate. Get to work!

Thanks, Agnes.

Okay, looks like everybody's made a decision. You know, Canada is a big place and uh, unfortunately we just lost the Contessa's trail there.

As usual.

Why it's that mysterious voice again.

You talk like an actor. Get over here. You'll be right at home where the Contessa is now. She's taking in a play at the Pantages Theater. The Academy Awards were held there for 11 straight years. Earlier she went boating at MacArthur Park.

Uh, well, what else do you know?

I know everything.

Thank you so much.

Oh, and Greg?

Yes.

Go away.

Yes. Thank you so much.