This has been a very difficult decision, but no, I will not be running for State Senate. There's just so many things I still want to do for the good people here in Lurlene. Like my own pet issue, which as many of you know, is pet issues. And I certainly hope I'm not letting anyone down, especially my new friend Sidney.
Are you referring to Sidney Purcell, the Con Ag Chem Fam Farms lobbyist?
[Dan tries to usher him away] You know what guys, I'm so sorry, we don't have any time for any more questions.
Actually Dan, that did sound like a question. Yes, Sidney Purcell. Super generous guy. Offered me all sorts of great stuff, like brand new kitchen appliances . . . or a brand new hot-tub like the lieutenant governor has . . . oh but I'm not supposed to talk about that.
Mayor Splett, are you saying that Con Ag Chem made you an offer to run for office?
No, no, no, that's not what he said; he didn't say that.
No, no, no, Dan is right. Uh Sidney made the offer. Con Ag Chem is a company, it can't talk. [He laughs] Hilarious, though, talking company. Where would the mouth even be?
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