Dan! What the fuck is this?
What are you talking about?
You've got me buried so far into the West Wing, I'm practically in Pyongyang.
Jonah, you have a job in the White House, all right? That was the deal.
I publicly denounced the Internet, Dan, okay? Those are my people! I'm getting so much online hate. There are memes of me being burned alive.
Ooh, wow.
There's one of me fuckin' a chicken while dressed as bin Laden.
The chicken is dressed as bin Laden or you're dressed as bin Laden?
No, I'm dressed as bin Laden, Dan! And it's really well done. So it legitimately looks like I am engaging in bestiality while insulting 9/11 victims.
Oh wow, that is tough.
I want a new deal. I want to get closer to the action. I'm like a boom-op on a porno shoot right now!
I'm sorry, man, but I can't have a terrorist chicken-fucker next to the President. Security risk.
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