TV show quotes
[Albert observes suspended Agent Cooper's plaid shirt and khaki slacks.]
Oh, Coop, uh, about the uniform...
Yes, Albert?
Replacing the quiet elegance of the dark suit and tie with the casual indifference of these muted earth tones is a form of fashion suicide, but, uh, call me crazy -- on you it works.
[voiceover] A hotel. A nightstand. A drawer pull on the drawer. A drawer pull of a nightstand in the room of a hotel. What could possibly be happening on or in this drawer pull? How many drawer pulls exist in this world? Thousands, maybe millions. What is a drawer pull? This drawer pull -- why is it featured so prominently in a life or in a death of one woman who was caught in a web of power? Can a victim of power end in any way connected to a drawer pull? How can this be?
[Albert and Cooper are discussing whether to arrest Josie Packard.]
There's an epidemic of multiple gunshot wounds following this chick around. She is a menace.
I'll talk to her. Maybe she'll confess. Turn herself in.
[sarcastically] Maybe she'll grow wings and join the circus.
[Norma visits Hank in prison to ask him for a divorce. Hank tries to get Norma to lie to make up an alibi for him]
[aggressively] Okay. Then there's the deal. You give me my alibi, and I give you your divorce.
I didn't come here to negotiate with you. This is it. It's over!
Fine. Go ahead. You're his whore Norma.
I'd rather be his whore,... than your wife!
[Pete, Sheriff Truman and Dale Cooper are thinking about the next move in the chess game against Windom Earle]
Okay. This is it. Guaranteed to cause some sleepless nights.
As long as he can't remove another piece from the board. [a piece removed would mean an additional killing]
He can't do it. Not at least for five, six more moves.
Now maybe he'll kill anyway. Maybe it'll just frustrate him.
I don't think so Harry. Earle has a perverse sense of honor about these things.
I'd never heard of a man who murdered by the rules.
[voiceover] Sometimes -- well, let's say all times -- things are changing. We are judged as human beings on how we treat our fellow human beings. How do you treat your fellow human beings? At night, just before sleep, as you lay by yourself in the dark, how do you feel about yourself? Are you proud of your behavior? Are you ashamed of your behavior? You know in your heart if you have hurt someone -- you know. If you have hurt someone, don't wait another day before making things right. The world could break apart with sadness in the meantime.
[Pete, helping Cooper figure out how to outplay evil genius Windom Earle at chess, is interrupted by his "students".]
Mr. Martell, Andy moved his knight without doing the little hook thing.
You don't have to do the little hook thing; that's optional.
Andy, uh... the knight has to do the "little hook thing".
Every time?
It's a privilege! No one else gets to make that move.
[voiceover] The beautiful thing about treasure is that it exists. It exists to be found. How beautiful it is to find treasure. Where is the treasure, that when found, leaves one eternally happy? I think we all know it exists. Some say it is inside us -- inside us one and all. That would be strange. It would be so near. Then why is it so hard to find, and so difficult to attain?
Audrey, look, I know that I haven't been a very good father. Oh hell, who am I kidding? When have I ever been anything but a sleazy rapacious heel?
Well Daddy, maybe when I was little, but...
Exactly.
I have no idea where this will lead us. But I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange.
WHAT A BEAUTY. REMINDS ME OF THAT STATUE, THE BABE WITHOUT THE ARMS.
The Venus de Milo.
THE NAME WAS MILO BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT. THAT'S THE KIND OF GIRL THAT MAKES YOU WISH YOU SPOKE A LITTLE FRENCH.
Surefire cure for a hangover, Harry. You take a glass of nearly frozen, unstrained tomato juice. You plop a couple of oysters in there and you drink it down. Breathe deeply. Next you take a mound and I mean a mound of sweetbreads sauteed with some Canadian bacon and chestnuts. Finally some biscuits, big biscuits, smothered in gravy. Now here's where it gets tricky, you're gonna need some anchovies. You take --
[groaning] Excuse me.
[smiling] That should do it.
[voiceover] Pie. Whoever invented the pie? Here was a great person. In Twin Peaks, we specialize in cherry pie and huckleberry pie. We do have many other types of pie, and at the Double R Diner, Norma knows how to make them all better than anyone I have ever known. I hope Norma likes me. I know I like her and respect her. I have spit my pitch gum out of my mouth onto her walls and floors and sometimes onto her booths. Sometimes I get angry and do things I'm not proud of. I do love Norma's pies. I love pie with coffee.
[seeing Gordon and Shelly kiss] Hey! What the hell's going on?
YOU ARE WITNESSING A FRONT THREE-QUARTER VIEW OF TWO ADULTS SHARING A TENDER MOMENT. [to Shelly] Acts like he's never seen a kiss before.
Uh, Gordon...
TAKE ANOTHER LOOK, SONNY. IT'S GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN!
We'll of course take care of your medical expenses.
How kind. One might also think worker's compensation of some variety will be involved...
Easily done.
Capital, Mr. Horne. I'll alert my attorney.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Twin Peaks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
