[During the News, about forbidding people not interested in cars to drive]
If you haven't got the interest, you can't do it...you shouldn't be allowed to do it.
No, exactly. I mean, it would be like asking him [points to Richard] to cook Sunday lunch. Could you cook a Sunday lunch?
Yeah, you... boil the meat or whatever... no, I'm not--
You see?
I'm not interested in food so I'm not interested in cooking.
There you are, you see? You wouldn't ask him because he's not interested to cook you any food, you wouldn't ask me to do the washing up, you wouldn't ask James to... direct a porn film.
[The audience laugh as Jeremy looks very matter-of-fact]
Well, hang on. You say that, I think I'd actually direct quite a good porn film.
If you directed a porn film, it would be you arriving at the house of the woman in the stockings and you'd go [takes on a deep voice in imitation of James] "I've come to fix your boiler". And then you'd just fix it.
[considering] Might be. What's wrong with that?
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