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S17 E5

Top Gear · Season 17, Episode 5

“July 24th, 2011” quotes from Top Gear

5 quotes

“July 24th, 2011” · Season 17, Episode 5

In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (5), Richard Hammond (3), James May (2)

[During the opening sequence]

Tonight, I talk to a man in sunglasses. James draws a square on a wall. And Richard plays with a soldier's chopper.

[voiceover] The foam fitting was rather disturbing.

Why -- what are you doing? You're in my actual anus. That was my actual anus that you put your hand in.

JAJean Alesi

It is a part of the programme!

Things that just happened that I didn't think would happen today. Jean Alesi, who I used to hero-worship, is playing with my genitals.

Hammond, I suspect the driving position has got you in mind in a Scorpion.

Is that what this is?

Yeah. £30,000. That's what it costs.

[climbing into the Scorpion] Already, I'm seeing buildings just fall down of their own free will.

[All three laugh]

Didn't James Blunt use one of these in Kosovo?

[from inside the Scorpion] It's got pedals! There are pedals.

I thought he had a guitar.

[Jeremy and James checks out a tank next to the Scorpion]

It's the Stormer.

Yeah, the Stormer. Now, come on.

20 grand, maximum.

Stormer! That's a good name.

£20,000. So this, or a Ford Focus.

[voiceover] Mostly, they talked about health and safety so we thought we should too.

Don't have an accident.

RJRichard & James

Don't have an accident.

If you do have an accident, remember... it was an accident.

[Jeremy Clarkson decides to try using explosives to speed up the demolition of one of the houses they've gone to demolish]

FIRE IN THE HOLE!

[The explosives are detonated, there is a lot of smoke and dust, but all that falls is the door of the house which is otherwise intact]

(a la Michael Caine) You only blown the bloody door off!

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