[during the opening sequence]
Tonight, a dog won't go in a car, a clipboard falls over, and a man from Liverpool is on our track.
“January 23rd, 2011” · Season 16, Episode 1
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (4)
[In the opening scene, where Jeremy is talking about the iPlayer]
...and isn't the iPlayer [stutters] brilliant...[pauses for a few seconds]...art...om when it freezes...[freezes as if buffering]...oadband connection. Er, what I'd like to do is shove it up British Telecom's...[freezes again before he can finish; cut to him dithering further back]...e start tonight with the Ariel Atom. Now there is a new, much fa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-[scene cut]-aster version, which has come along recently...
Forgive me for saying this, but a good looking chap such yourself tends not to be funny.
JBJohn Bishop
[looks at Jeremy] ...You are funny.
[checking the leader board]
Tom Cruise is the fastest, and then Cameron Diaz...
JBJohn Bishop
Oh, I've always wanted to be on top of her.
[applauses]...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.