Top Gear · Season 5, Episode 8
“December 19th, 2004” · Season 5, Episode 8
In this episode: James May (5), Jeremy Clarkson (4), Richard Hammond (2)
[During the opening sequence.]
On tonight's show it's all about challenges! Which can get down a mountain the fastest: a rally car or a bobsleigh? Are modern-day showroom cars faster than racing cars from not that long ago? And can a Formula 1 Renault get round our track... in less than a minute?
[on the bobsled run]
Apparently it hits 6 and a half Gs in some of those corners down there. The driver's told me that he's been doing this for six years and he's 3 centimetres shorter. I can't afford to lose 3 centimetres!!
[during the bobsled run]
[shouting] I don't want to die in tights!
[on the French]
They are a bunch of treacherous, lamb-burning, work-shy peasants.
France is a country you have to drive through to get to Italy. That's all it's for.
[regarding the Ferrari 612 Scaglietti]
Is this your vehicle?
D'ya know what? It isn't, no!
[to Richard] You're wearing tights. I can't take lectures on physics from a man in tights. Dancing, yes. Physics, no.
[after entering Switzerland, which he refers to as being in the "automotive dark ages"]
The trouble with Switzerland is that they have no tolerance for speed or noise or cars, if Steve McQueen in the Great Escape made the jump into Switzerland, he'd be arrested for reckless driving.
[after being overtaken by Jeremy in his Ferrari]
Permission to say 'cock' for the second time this y... I've even abandoned my luggage!
[on driving the Ferrari 612 in the race to Verbier] Then you get to the Alpine pass. Them on their bus: dg dg dg dg dg dg! And you're just like, ahhhnn ahhnn ahhnnnn, trying to catch them up!
[while on the train, updating Jeremy's position] Jeremy, I've just calculated, is about here [points on map, east of Dijon] at the side of the road, talking to a gendarme. But, in a few hours' time, he'll be up here [points to centre of Paris] in a place called Le Bastille. [Richard nearly spit-takes]
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