Bosco, you don't understand the pressure of having to have the right toy, the right clothes...
Oh, come on. I've watched Yokas go through this every year for the past ten years. I thought Talking Elmo was gonna kill her.
S5 E10The Spirit
S5 E11A Call for Help
Anonymous caller. What the hell is that?
Why are we always driving in the wrong direction when we get a job?
If it bothers you enough to call, at least have the balls to say it was you.
You know, maybe we should just start driving in reverse. At least we'd be facing the right direction.
Watch this guy.
I see him... [wails siren]
[over PA] Move to the right, you moron.
Bosco, hang on. Don't be going on the PA thing calling people morons!
He is a [over PA] MORON.
Tommy (to Bosco): So it's a good job? Being a cop?
Some days.
So, uh, you like it then?
Except when people ask me a bunch of stupid questions.
Bosco (to Tommy): I need you to show me where the fight happened.
If I could just go home.
You're not going anywhere, all right, until I see the spot. Capice?
Oh please, don't start speaking Italian to the guy, because he's having a hard enough time keeping up!
Cruz (to Bosco): You got a bus on the way, right?
Yeah, but I may kill him before it gets here.
Bosco (on the radio): 5-5 David. We got a call back number on this complainant? Call and ask if he'll talk to us again.
DDispatcher
10-4 David. Standby.
Standby my ass.
What did we learn the first day of paramedic training? "Cops are all jerks."
You guys all right?
Yeah. Yeah.
You sure? You're good?
Yeah.
You know what they taught us the first day of cop school? "Take a look around before you insult somebody."
DDispatcher
(over the radio) Complainant still does not wish to be contacted.
Oh, well then, beautiful! Then why don't we just leave, huh?! Why don't we just let you figure this out all by yourselves, huh?! I mean, it bothers you enough to call, al least have the balls to say that it was you!
(laughs)
What?
Bosco said the exact same thing.
Thanks, Sasha.
Bosco (to Tommy): How many times? 'Cause that looks like at least 50 times to me.
It was a lot.
And then you cut his throat? And in all that time, all that stabbing, he never stopped fighting back? Huh? How about when you cut him from the corner of his mouth all the way back to his ear?! Or when you cut his eyes out?! He stop fighting back then?! And when you got behind him to cut his throat--- which you must've done or you'd be covered in his blood. You couldn't have just run away? Huh?
He was so big, see...
How'd you cut your hand, Tommy?
I told you, Jeremy....
No, he didn't.
Yes...
He would have cut you on the palm. Nobody gets a defensive wound on the back of their hand. You did hold him up against the wall, right? Right? You pushed him back against it while he was begging for his life and then you cut yourself on one of the upswings while you were stabbing your friend in the face!
Bosco, hey, can I ask you a question? You think this is gonna affect my chances of becoming an attorney?
You know what? This probably won't affect your chances of being an attorney one damn bit.
S5 E12Black and Blue
"Request police photo I.D. card. Check I.D. number against badge number. Call local precinct with badge number." How to make a crappy job that much crappier.
You know Cruz, I became a cop because so many kids in my community thought that the police were something to be afraid of. I took this job to change that.
We found a woman, she was beaten, robbed and raped in her car.
Do you think there's any connection?
I hope not.
Why?
Because she said it was police officers that did it to her.
When's your 46?
PPhil
What?
Your next 46. When is it?
PPhil
Oh, it's uh.... (reaches for his gun)
(firing) Wrong answer. Your 46 is your vacation.
Yeah, you'll be spending yours upstate.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Third Watch pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.