“Travels with Father” quotes from The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles

[scolding Indy] Henry, we are guests in this house.

Guests, Junior. Not rampaging barbarians.

Your father will deal with you in the morning.

What's he gonna do?

Have you shot in the morning. I will provide the blindfold.

You reeking little swine, how dare you shoot me in the ass!

I thought you were a giant weazle.

Do I look like a giant weazle? Is it my twitching snout? My long, hairless tail? Are all little English boys as stupid as you?

I'm not English, I'm American.

That explains it.

You have dogs? So do I. One I mean, her name's Indiana. I haven't seen her in over a year, though. 'Cause we've been traveling so much.

You miss her?

Yeah, you bet I do. Can't wait to see her when we get home. Wonder if she'll still remember me.

Of course she will. Dogs are better than people.

Hey, they were calling you Tolstoy. I think my father has some of your books. Didn't you write that eh, that really big fat one about war?

And peace.

No kiddin'. My father thinks you're great!

Your dad's an imbicile.

He's usually not wrong about this stuff. You should ask him.

Father, I don't think that he understand your ancient Greek.

Well he should have understood it.

Father, I really doubt if a bus is even gonna come and if it does, there's probably only one a day and, and it's probably already gone!

Junior, you are now being cynical. [beneath his breath] Yes sir. See, after skeptsism comes cynicism.

[Indy and his father are splashing around in a lake] I didn't even know you could swim.

There's a lot you don't know about me, Junior. [splashes water at his son] When I was five years old, I used to go swimming in a loch. Now that was cold!

[Indy and his father are splashing around in a lake] Father!

What?

You know how you said that we should let ourselves be consumed by nature?

Well, nature is consuming our clothes.

So your name's Aristotle?

Yes. So my wife said: Aristotle, she said, if you don't call that donkey Plato, you gonna have noone to talk to [laughs riotously]

Hey, are you interested in politics?

No not much.

Ah, then you're an idiot.

[brief pause] Thank you, Aristotle.

My pleasure. [laughs]

No, he's right, Junior. Our word 'idiot' comes from a Greek word which means 'one who is not interested in politics'.

I'm bored.

Bored? Bored? We're sitting in one of the most fascinating libraries in this part of the world and you're bored?

It's also the only library.

I will not have you bored.

A ladder is made of wood, right?

Yes.

This cage is made out of wood.

So?

Ergo, our cage is a ladder.

We need a ladder, father. Let's turn our cage into a ladder.