The X-Files Season 7 quotes

Scully

You okay, Mulder?

Mulder

(looking slightly embarrassed) Yeah, it's all right. My ass broke the fall.

Mulder

A programmed behavior prompted and manifested by suggestion in this case, a rhythmic motion of the hands producing a unconscious act in a conscious state. (Raises and lowers his hand; she gives him a Look.) Doesn't work on you. (She smiles.)

Mulder

You know, it's funny, when all is said and done, there's not much mystery in murder.

Yo. Can't you do anything that ain't a hundred years old? That ain't old school, that's decrepit.

(patiently) Young man, shall I come heckle you on your job? Make sure you count out the requisite number of McNuggets?

Mulder

So, basically he died of a heart attack, somebody crept up behind him, sawed his head off and then glued it back on all in the space of 30 seconds. (begins laughing) Does that make sense to you?

Scully

No. Which makes it even stranger still because, as far as I can tell this body has been dead for over a month. I see signs of refrigeration.

Mulder

And yet he performed yesterday. What a trooper.

Come in. Good morning, Mr. And Mrs...?

Mulder

(quickly; taking out his badge) Agents... Mulder and Scully. FBI.

What's in it for me? I mean, let's say I help you out. What do I get in return?

Scully

(hopefully) The feeling of pride that comes from performing your civic duty?

Mulder

How did this impersonator switch out the dead body?

With ease. You're going to kick yourselves when I show you how he did this, it's so simple. 'Cause magic is all about... (wiggles fingers mysteriously) misdirection.

Your impersonator simply made sure everyone was looking the other way when he pulled Maleeni's body from its secret hiding place underneath... the floor. (Dramatically lifts one of the floor panels up from the bottom of the van, revealing... nothing; none of the other panels show anything either; surprised) Man, this guy's good.

Mulder

Don't you find it odd that the amazing Maleeni's a lousy poker player? I mean, this is a guy who's adept at manipulating cards.

Scully

Maybe he wasn't so adept. LaBonge certainly doesn't have a high opinion of his skills.

Mulder

There's another possibility. Behold - an ordinary household quarter. (holds up a quarter) I'm going to take the quarter from my right hand and place it into my left hand. (flourishes) Where is it?

Scully

It's in your right hand.

Mulder

(shows empty right hand) Oh, no, no, no.

Scully

(taps his right hand; nothing still. She smiles, impressed) Ah... That's not bad.

Mulder

(reaches out to grab her nose) Blow your nose, Scully.

Scully

(warning him) Mulder...

Mulder

(holding her nose between his fingers) Blow your nose.

Scully

(deadpan) Ah-choo.

Mulder

(quarter falls into his hand) Ta-da.

Scully

(amused) Amazing!

Mulder

(proudly) The great Muldeeni!

Scully

You know, Mulder, there's still one thing that you haven't explained.

Mulder

What's that?

Scully

How the Amazing Maleeni was able to turn his head completely around.

Mulder

I don't know that.

Scully

I do. I'll show you. Observe. (gets down on hands and knees on the floor; Mulder grins. Puts her hands on the floor, turns one hand a full 360 degrees; Mulder is impressed)

Mulder

Gee! Very nice. How'd you do that?

Scully

Well... magic. (keeps walking down the hall; he follows)

Mulder

No. Seriously, Scully, how'd you do it? You know, it's not the same thing. It's different with the head. Come on. Look at this. (does the disappearing thumb trick; she ignores him)

Scully

Snake handling. I didn't learn that in catechism class.

Mulder

That's funny. I knew a couple of Catholic schoolgirls who were expert at it.

Scully

Rattlesnakes and medieval visions of damnation. Well, I for one, feel a whole lot closer to God.

Mulder

I don't know, Scully. When you... when you get right down to it is snake handling any harder to buy into than communion wafers or transubstantiation...?

Scully

Or believing in flying saucers, for that matter.

Mulder

Reverend, do something about these snakes, please.

You got nothing to fear if you're righteous people.

Mulder

(very nervous) Just in case we're not, we could use a little righteous help here.

Your FBI partner could've learned something about herself if you hadn't stopped me. Some powerful good news, maybe.

Mulder

I'd say it's good news for you that she's not here right now, considering what you tried to do to her.

Mulder

I want to believe so badly; in a truth beyond our own hidden and obscured from all but the most sensitive eyes. In the endless procession of souls, in what cannot and will not be destroyed.. I want to believe we are unaware of God's eternal recompense and sadness.. That we cannot see His truth. That that which is born still lives and cannot be buried in the cold earth.. But only waits to be born again at God's behest, where in ancient starlight we lay.. in repose.