The White Lotus · Season 1
God. It just seems like the body would naturally stop getting horny once you're past the age of procreation, you know? Like at 50, you would just stop.
Fifty? Fifty's not that old.
It just seems undignified.
I'm still virile, by the way. I could still impregnate a woman.
No girl should have to be exposed to an old guy's junk.
It's not like it was ever so beautiful to look at anyway. I mean, it's a penis. It's not a sunset.
One of the guests has drowned.
What? It's fine, the ocean is not hotel property. We can't be liable for what happens in the Ionian sea!
Hey, what is with these head things? We keep seeing them everywhere.
Testa di Moro.
Testa di Moro?
Yeah. Well, the story is a Moor came here a long time ago and seduced a local girl. But then she found out that he had a wife and children back home. So, because he lied to her, she cut his head off.
Oh.
Jesus.
So if you put one of those outside of your house, what are you saying?
If you come into my house, don't fuck my wife.
It's a warning to husbands, babe. Screw around and you'll end up buried in the garden.
Why? Why can't you sleep?
Just, like work stuff?
Yeah, but also just... I don't know, just everything that's going on... in the world.
What do you mean? What's going on?
Oh, I don't know. Just, like, the end of the world.
Oh. No, Harper!
Oh, come on!
The world's not ending, it's not that bad. Honestly, Cam and I don't even watch the news anymore.
Yeah.
You don't follow the news?
No.
What?
Like, I'm just so over the whole news cycle, you know? It's... it's like, gimme a break.
They're just trying to freak everybody out.
Yeah. They're just polarizing society by making us glued to their apocalyptic soap opera, you know? It's like...
Yeah. And even if it was as bad as they say it is, I mean what can you really do, you know?
Right.
We vote, we donate money. You can't obsess.
So much content now. It's like there's billions of shows, everyone's trying to keep up. It's kinda suffocating, honestly. Yeah.
Too much. It's too much. It's like we're all entertaining each other while the world burns, right?
We're all just zombies, you know, like...
Hmm.
I love a binge.
What's with the boner?
Yeah, fair question. Uh, I was jerking off.
Why?
Um, I don't know, endorphins? You know I sometimes get horny after I run.
Well, couldn't you have just waited till I got back to the room? I was only gone 15 minutes. All I had was a croissant.
You don't like morning sex.
Like, I just wanna... [chuckles] I don't know, feel, like, fulfilled and have an adventure, and, like, I'm sick of fucking TikTok and... and Bumble, and just... screens and apps and sitting there binging Netflix. And I just... I just wanna, like, live. I just wanna live my life, so badly. [chuckles] I just feel like I just wanna meet someone who's like, you know, totally ignorant of... the discourse. You know?
Right. Right. Like... Like someone who lives in a cave. Like a caveman.
Yeah, uh, yeah, I would date a caveman at this point. Yeah.
I mean... I think you could aim higher. Honestly, I think you can do better than a caveman.
I think I just need to... I don't know, like, up my meds or something.
Oh, God. This is such a beautiful view. I wonder if anyone's ever jumped from here.
Your mistake was being sloppy.
What are we talking about?
That's what's unforgivable. A man does what he has to do. But you keep it tight. If you're sloppy, it's like you're rubbing her face in it. Bad form.
Thanks for the tip. You know, I don't think you were as discreet as you think you were regarding your own affairs.
Affairs. They weren't affairs, they were nothing. They were peccadilloes.
Do you want to suck on my tits, jerk off on my face, or something? Fuck around?
I'd hate to be a man, honestly. It'd just be so lonely. I mean, they're so competitive. It's like, can they even be friends with each other? [inhales] Cameron and I went on a safari and, um, on safari, you see all these pods of elephants and they're all, like, bathing in the river and playing with each other and it's so sweet. But it's just the moms and the babies. Because when the boy elephants get too big, they kick them out of the pod. And then the bull elephant has to, like, wander through the jungle by himself for the rest of his life. I feel sorry for men, you know. It's like... they think they're out there doing something really important. but really they're just wandering alone.
They used to respect the old. Now we're just reminders of an offensive past everybody wants to forget.
I just feel like there must have been a time when the world had more. You know? Like... mystery or... or something, and now you come somewhere like this and it's beautiful and you take a picture, and then you realize that everybody's taken that exact same picture from that exact same spot. You just made some redundant content, for stupid Instagram.
Yeah.
And you can't even get lost anymore 'cause you can just find yourself on Google Maps.
They own a house where they shot the best American movie ever made.
No, it's not.
No? Why not? I think so.
Well, yeah, I mean, you would.
All right, what's that supposed to mean?
It's because you're nostalgic for the solid days of the patriarchy.
They're undeniably great movies.
Men love The Godfather because they feel emasculated by modern society. It's a fantasy about a time when they could go out and solve all their problems with violence and sleep with every woman... And then come home to their wife who doesn't ask them any questions and makes them pasta.
Hey, hey, hey. It's a normal male fantasy.
No, movies like that socialize men into having that fantasy.
Movies like that exist because men already do have that fantasy. We're hard-wired.
Mm. Comes with the testosterone.
No. Gender is a construct. It's created.
You spent all that money on Stanford, he comes back brainwashed.
But you've been brainwashed into thinking that, man. It's very bourgeois. Dude, monogamy was an idea... created by the elite to control the middle class. Meanwhile, all the priests were fucking the altar boys and the aristocrats were fucking everything that moves. Same now as it ever was. And the most ambitious guys? They're always the horniest. Like you and me, baby. And of course, women are attracted to that. But then, if you don't make their dreams come true, they make you suffer. That's why it's safer to stick with whores.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The White Lotus pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
