Abigail! May I grasp your breasts?
BBartlet
I'm standing right here!
You may kiss my cheek.
“Dead Irish Writers” · Season 3
In this episode: Abbey Bartlet (4), Josiah Bartlet (3), Sam Seaborn (2), Lord John Marbury (2), Josh Lyman (1), Amy Gardner (1)
Abigail.
BBartlet
Now it's a party.
Oh. Yes, your lordship.
Your breasts are magnificent.
Oh. Um... thank you, John.
May I inquire, Mr. President – the first thing that attracted you to Abigail - was it her magnificent breasts?
It was.
BBartlet
You know John, there are places in the world where it might be considered rude to talk about the physical attributes of another man's wife.
My god. Really?
BBartlet
Yeah.
I need you to tell me everything you can tell me about the superconducting supercollider.
MProfessor Milgate
How much time do we have?
About ten minutes.
MProfessor Milgate
If you pay very close attention, stay very, very quiet – I can teach you how to spell it.
Amy.
Yes, ma'am?
CJ and I are gonna get drunk. Come on.
Yes, ma'am.
You're going?
The First Lady just asked me to get boozy with her. You don't think I want to write a book one day?
EEnlow
If we could only say what benefit this thing has. No one's been able to do that...
MProfessor Milgate
That's because great achievement has no road map. Well, the X-ray's pretty good. So is Penicillin. Neither were discovered with a practical objective in mind. I mean, when the electron was discovered in 1897, it was useless. Now we have an entire world run by electronics. Haydn and Mozart never studied the classics. They couldn't--they invented them.
Discovery
MProfessor Milgate
What?
Discovery is what--that's what this is used for. It's for discovery.
Do you like these earrings?
BBartlet
[without looking] I do.
You want to look at them first?
BBartlet
[still not looking] Are they new?
No.
BBartlet
[still not looking] You've worn them?
Yeah.
BBartlet
[working a crossword puzzle] I love them. "Laissez-faire doctrine." 15 letters.
Social Darwinism.
BBartlet
No, that's not the answer. See, 'cause Social Darwinism isn't a doctrine. It's a force of nature. The answer is "libertarianism."
I'm gonna be ready in two minutes.
BBartlet
Take your time.
Passive-aggression is not gonna get me out the door any faster.
BBartlet
Boo boo, I gave up on getting you out the door in the late 70's. Plus, it's your birthday. You're old, and you don't move around that fast.
Libertarianism has 14 letters not 15.
BBartlet
I know, so I'm shading in the extra box.
And it's not my birthday.
BBartlet
It's your birthday week. It's a week of festivities like Mardi Gras or Lent. Three letters. "It may be bitter." "Tea," right?
"It may be bitter?"
BBartlet
Yeah.
Why "tea"?
BBartlet
'Cause "woman" doesn't fit.
"End," you idiot. "Bitter end."
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The West Wing pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.