Billy Quizboy and Dr. Venture in “Unfinished Business”

[as Dr. Venture makes a call] Oh, man. This is just wrong, Rusty.

Did you have a date to your prom?

I was a boy genius. I was the only 12-year-old at my prom, so my date was my mother.

Mine was worse. My prom date was to have been Miss Linda Lovelace.

Deep Throat Linda Lovelace?

The same. She, of course, by that time was a vocal anti-pornography advocate—thanks, Dad—and sent her friend Andrea Dworkin as her proxy.

Was she hot?

Google "Andrea Dworkin" on an empty stomach one day. [Into phone] Oh, hello? Yes, I'd like six of your finest whores please. Fine, escorts. Yes, I think I'll go for full service. Sure, I'll hold. [To Billy] Anyway, because my dad brought, like, ten Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders as his date, he didn't care that my date was a huge, angry, "way smarter than a 16-year-old me" woman who called me "little half man."

Better than having your mom as your date.

It got worse, no shit. I ended up slow-dancing with H.E.L.P.eR. H.E.L.P.eR. [Into phone] Yes? Oh, lord, no, that's way too expensive. Uh, what about half-service? What about just a good-night kiss? On the lips? Cheek? Just a hug? Okay, four of that, two at half-service. [Billy starts waving at him] Wait. [To Billy] WHAT?!

Just ask them! I'll pay extra.

[groans] Do you have costumes? ...Hawkwoman.

Girl!

Hawk...girl.