It's downright unreasonable. I could pole-dance better than half those women. Good lord, son, there should be a mandatory retirement age for strippers.
Did you see I got cornered by Robin last night? I almost had to chew off my own arm to get away.
Ohh, that poor woman has the saddest tits. Damn depressing.
Right? Yeah, they're like The Notebook sad.
Her tits are like "coming home from school and finding out that your old man ran over your cat" sad.
Mournful. She has mournful tits. They're like two suicide notes stuffed in a glitter bra.
Those things are like a little kid with progeria cracking all his ribs trying to catch a Nerf ball—just sad. Damn it, she has gloomy tits!
It's like she put a dollar's worth of change into some old socks and then taped them to her chest.
I want to build two little caskets and give her tits a tasteful, dignified funeral.
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