What happened tonight when you thought she was Elena?
(winces) To risk another frown line encroaching on a very crowded forehead... We...kissed.
Elena
And you thought it was me?
What do mean you "kissed"?
Well you know when two lips pucker and they go... (makes kissing noise)
Elena
Hey. How are you doing?
Great, Elena. Walking on sunshine. Thanks for asking.
Elena
Damon...
Elena
We should be able to talk about this, Damon, we're close enough now. I really want to know how you’re doing.
I kissed you, I thought you kissed me back, doppelganger hijinx ensued... How do you think I’m doing?
Elena
I think that you’re hurt.
Mmm, no, I don’t get hurt, Elena.
Elena
No, you don't admit that you get hurt. You get angry and cover it up, and then you do something stupid.
You’re scared. You think Katherine's going to send me off the deep end, don't you? I don't need her for that. [starts to leave, then turns back around] You know, why...why is it such a surprise that I would kiss you?
Elena
That’s not a surprise. I'm surprised that you thought I’d kiss you back.
You're surprised that I thought you'd kiss me back - you can't imagine that I’d believe that you'd want to?
Elena
Damon...
That what we've been doing here means something? You’re the liar, Elena. There is something going on between the two of us and you know it. And you’re lying to me, and you’re lying to Stefan, and most of all your lying to yourself. I can prove it.
Elena
No-
Elena
Damon, don't! What’s wrong with you?
Lie about this. (tries to kiss her again)
Elena
Stop it. You're better than this, come on!
That’s where you're wrong.
Elena
No, no, no, Damon...I care about you. Listen to me, I care about you! I do. But I love Stefan. It's always gonna be Stefan!
Elena, what's going on in here?
Elena
(struggles out of Damon's grip) Nothing, Jeremy, it's okay. Just-- just go back to bed.
No, it's not okay, Elena. (looks from her to Jeremy) He wants to be a vampire. (rushes to Jeremy, grabs him by the neck and pins him against the wall)
Elena
No, Damon, stop it!
Damon (to Jeremy): You wanna shut out the pain? It's the easiest thing in the world! The part of you that cares, it just goes away. All you have to do is flip the switch and snap! (breaks Jeremy's neck)
Elena
(gasps) Damon! (Jeremy falls to the floor) NO!
I know I'm the last person you wanna see right now, but I need you to come with me.
Elena
Whatever it is, I'm not interested.
Yeah, I need you to come with me right now, Elena.
[Damon reveals to Caroline that he is going to kill her.]
[Sobbing] [To Damon] Please don't. I don't want to die!
Yeah, but you're already dead.
No, I'm not! Don't say that, okay? Just help me!
Okay? Just– help me, please! Please, please! [Embraces Damon while sobbing]
[Embraces Caroline] Okay, okay. It's gonna be okay. Gonna be okay. It's the only way.
[Damon gets ready to plunge the stake into Caroline's back, but Stefan appears and pulls his brother's hand away, causing him to drop the stake, as Elena rushes to Caroline.]
[Angrily] [To his brother] Stefan!
[Thinking that Elena is Katherine] [To Elena] Get away from me! You killed me!
Elena
No, no, no, no, Caroline, that wasn't me. You know that. That was Katherine.
No! Then why did she look like you?! And why?! Why did she do this to me?!
Elena
[To Stefan] Stefan, we gotta get her inside.
[To Caroline] It's all right, Caroline, come with me.
[To his brother and Elena] She will die. It's only a matter of time.
[To his brother] Yeah, maybe so, but it's not gonna happen tonight.
Oh, yeah, it is. (rushes at Caroline with the stake; Elena blocks him)
Elena
(gasps in terror, but holds her ground) [To Damon] Damon, she's my friend.
(slowly backs away) Whatever happens... it's on you.
Elena
Stefan, what are we doing here? We're going to get caught.
Well I compelled the guard to go on a break so I can kiss my girlfriend on top of the Ferris wheel.
Elena
Stefan...
We have to take these moments, Elena. Alright? What Katherine did to Caroline could just be the beginning, and then there’s things about Tyler’s family that we don't even understand yet, and there’s always the D-word. But I came back to this town to start a life with you. We can’t forget to live it.
How you doing back there? (Elena pouts silently) You know, this whole 'pretending to hate me' thing is getting a little silly.
I don't think she’s pretending. You did kill her brother.
There is a huge asterisk next to that statement. He came back to life.
Elena
Yeah. Thanks to a ring you didn't know he was wearing.
How are you so sure I didn't know?
Elena
Did you?
Elena
You’re lying.
Elena! I saw the ring! It’s a big tacky thing, it’s hard to miss.
I can't reach it, Elena... Just pull the damn thing out, it hurts. (Elena pulls arrow out of his back) Ah. Whoo... (shakes it off, turns to leave) That bitch is dead.
Elena
(blocking him) Ah, you’re not going to kill her.
Elena
You touch her and I swear I will never speak to you again.
What makes you think that has any power over me? Cause I took an arrow in the back for you? You are severely over-estimating yourself.
Elena
Right, I forgot that I was speaking to a psychotic mind who snaps and kills people impulsively. Fine. Go ahead. Do whatever you want.
You’re trying to manipulate me...
Elena
If by "manipulate" you mean tell the truth, then okay. Guilty.
Elena
Here take this.
VVanessa
Does vervain really work?
(from the other room) Nope. Not at all.
(whispering) Nooo, that would be creepy...
VVanessa
Can he read minds, too?
You know, if you wanna see me naked all you have to do is ask.
Elena
No. That he can't do. But he is very capable of being a first-rate jackass.