Elena Gilbert quotes from The Vampire Diaries

Elena

Wow, you really don't want to die, do you? I swear I just heard your heat stop.

Katherine

Where am I?

Elena

Still alive... Sadly.

Katherine

I thought I was a goner there for a second, but I still have unfinished business.

Elena

So do I. I had this whole speech that I was preparing to give your unconscious body.

Katherine

Let me guess. Hate, loathe, screw you, die, bitch, et cetera.

Elena

Yes. Plus one more thing. I forgive you.

Katherine

You what?

Elena

I forgive you. You weren't born evil. Your life made you that way. You lost everyone that you cared about way too young, and you didn't have a family that looked after you. Sound familiar?

Katherine

Is this the... "We're not so different you and I" Doppelgänger speech? Because I'd be happy to skip it.

Elena

I'll save it for the funeral that we probably won't have for you.

Katherine

Perfect.

Elena

I just wanted to get the forgiveness part out. It's part of me that I... I never want to lose.

Katherine

Good for you. Now maybe you can help a girl out and give me one more syringe, and if anyone's gonna plunge a needle in me one last time, may as well be you. Symmetry and all that. Elena... Thank you for your forgiveness.

Elena

You're welcome.

Katherine

Jaryakat a zem. Daryeet acza.

Elena

Am I seriously that easy to impersonate, or do you guys not know me at all?

Jeremy

Elena, what's going on?

Elena

When have I ever danced on a bar half-naked? Do you think that I would come to a college bar with my underage brother and do tequila shots?

Matt

Elena, what are you talking about?

Elena

I'm not Elena, Matt. I'm Katherine. It's not me! You guys know me - I wouldn't do that. Guys, Katherine has taken over my body. This isn't me!

Damon

Caroline and an original hybrid sittin' in a tree...

Elena

No. Are you serious? Caroline and Klaus? Wait, does Tyler know about this?

Damon

Yup, and guess who told him.

Elena

Katherine? (sighs) Katherine is such a bitch.

Damon

That she is.

Damon

Katherine didn't do this. I did. I thought you broke my heart, so I ripped open Aaron's neck - that is how much control you have over me.

Elena

And I'm still here. That's how much control you have over me.

Damon

Listen to us! This is toxic! We are in a toxic relationship, Elena. I just killed your friend and you find someone else to blame!

Elena

You want me to blame you? Easy. Done! You screwed up Damon. Again.

Damon

Thank you!

Elena

You put me in a position where I have to defend you, again. Where I have to bend my morals, again. Where I have to go against everything single thing that I believe in, again, 'cause I love you!

Damon

Well then stop loving me!

Elena

I can't!

Damon

Morning, Sunshine.

Elena

Oh. Um... did I wake you?

Damon

No. I've been up for three hours.

Elena

Really? Because you didn't say a word.

Damon

Neither did you.

Elena

Well--ahem-- that's because I didn't really have much to say. Nothing's changed. We're still bad for each other, and we are still broken up. Last night was a mistake.

Damon

Maybe we should keep making mistakes. Big ones.

Elena

Hey, Bon.

Bonnie

Hey. I got your text. What's the friend emergency?

Elena

Damon and I broke up. It's final.

Bonnie

Oh, my god. When did it happen?

Elena

Last night.

Bonnie

But you didn't come home last night.

Elena

Uh, that's because I slept with him.

Bonnie

Oh.

Elena

Post breakup.

Bonnie

Ohh.

Elena

Was that irresponsible?

Bonnie

Probably. Does Jeremy know that you and Damon definitely maybe broke up?

Elena

No. He wasn't at the house last night thankfully.

Bonnie

Well, that's weird. I mean, he didn't mention anything to me. If he wasn't at home, where was he?

Elena

I don't know. That doesn't really help me with the whole irresponsible thing, does it?

Elena

Just because Jeremy is a bad student doesn't mean that he's cheating on Bonnie.

Damon

You're making excuses for someone you love. That's what you do. The worse the behavior, the more you try and defend.

Elena

And you keep trying to make this about us.

Damon

Yeah, because you keep trying to make it about anything else.

Elena

You know what? Fine. But don't pretend that you came here for Jeremy. If you want to talk about last night, talk.

Damon

Here's the thing, Elena, I don't know what to say or do or think. All I know is that right now I want to rip your clothes off right here in the middle of this hall and throw you in one of these classrooms and kiss every square inch of your body while a bunch of people that drive minivans listen, wishing they were us. (pauses) That's probably a bad idea, right?

Elena

Right.

Damon

Right. (bell rings) See you in class.

Elena

Enough.

Damon

Hardly. She [Liv] was two seconds away form killing you. I want to know why, so I am gonna rip this nasty rag out of your mouth. If I hear so much as one syllable of hocus-pocus, one of us is gonna break your neck. Spoiler alert- it's gonna be me.

Elena

Caroline, if you bite your tongue any harder, you'll bleed. Say it.

Caroline

It's Psych 101. Actually it's whatever comes before 101. You told Damon that you couldn't see him anymore, and now you're having dreams about Stefan?

Elena

It's not just about Stefan, ok. My parents were still alive. It was like a different life.

Caroline

(answering phone) Stefan. Hey.

Stefan

Hey.

Caroline

Is everything ok?

Stefan

Well, you know how sometimes you feel crazy and you call me and I tell you you're not crazy?

Caroline

Even thought most of the time I am.

Stefan

Well, I need you to tell me that I'm not crazy.

Caroline

No promises.

Stefan

I was walking to my car, and I nearly got plowed over in the middle of the street because I was having some vision of Elena.

Caroline

I take that back. Actually, you are not crazy at all. Something's going on.

Elena

What are you doing out here?

Damon

Oh, you know. Looking at the stars, listening to the universe laughing at me.

Elena

Damon...

Damon

We were doomed from the beginning, Elena. We were always gonna end up here.

Elena

Damon...they're just visions. As soon as we find Markos, they'll stop.

Damon

And then what? We're friends? Can't wait.

Elena

Do you think Damon and I will ever be able to talk like this? Like friends?

Stefan

I think you can either be friends with someone or in love with them. I don't think you can be both.

Elena

[in the visions] I saw...a perfect life. Stefan and I were married, we had kids... It was everything that we wanted.

Damon

Well, we could always ask Markos to put 'em back-

Elena

But it's not real. You and I? We're messy and complicated, but...we're real.

Damon

And really bad for each other. Did you forget that part?

Damon

No, Elena, I can't be your friend. It's too damn hard.

Elena

Damon-

Damon

No, I'm serious, Elena - I can't see you anymore. I don't wanna hear your voice, I don't wanna talk to you, I don't even want to look at you, and I sure as hell don't want to be your friend.

Elena

How many, um--ahem--you know, are we supposed to have before we get our strength back?

Stefan

More than we've had, that's for sure. Let me know if you see a damn buffalo.

Elena

This is depressing.

Stefan

Yeah. More depressing than walking for miles and no knowing where the hell you're going?

Elena

No, probably not more depressing than that.

Stefan

Damon is in full hero mode today.

Elena

I'm sure he was thrilled about that.

Stefan

I don't know. He had the whole savior of the universe voice going on.

Elena

I like that voice. You know, maybe this whole thing's a sign.

Stefan

A sign of what?

Elena

My blood can literally destroy him. If that's not a sign that were in a toxic relationship--

Stefan

Our blood, all right, our blood. Don't hog the blame. Look. We're vampires. We're a toxic species. Whether you want to blame it on magic or biology, it's just who we are. When a human gets ravenously hungry, they eat a double cheeseburger. We kill people. Some of us are more extreme than others, but that's just who we are.

Elena

How come you're so much better at controlling it?

Stefan

Because I'm so much worse when I don't. I'm only gonna say this once. You two are miserable without each other, so if you want to be with him, just be with him. Look. When humans want to break free from complicated relationships, they go to therapy. Vampires get a pass, ok?

Elena

I think I just hallucinated a unicorn.

Stefan

Hmm. Maybe Caroline's nearby.

Elena

Heh. If Caroline was here, we'd have a fully catered buffet on the side of the road and a rainbow.

Stefan

Two rainbows.