(Meanwhile, Peter is discussing what he's going to talk about on the show with Phil.)
"We call it the Common Sense Checklist, Richard. We need to cut red tape. We were talking about that at the Oval the other day, weren't we, Richard?"
(loving it) That's just the sound of wickets falling.
(But then, Phil's cell phone rings.)
Stewart.
(sarcastically) Stewart? Oh, good. I wonder what Mr. Political Correctness Gone Boring wants...
(answering his cell phone) Hi, Stewart.
Look, a little note for Peter, yeah? Tell him to dump the common sense checklist. Yeah, it's an ex-list. The new world order is this: Hit the city hard, yeah? It's "Reverse Gekko." Greed is bad, money is awful. "I Heart Tracy Chapman," yeah?
(Phil leans over to Peter to quietly tell him the bad news...)
(to Peter) He wants you to scrap the common sense checklist and hit the city hard over the bonuses, call them all money-grabbing wankers.
(A BBC employee lets everyone know that Nicola and Peter are on, but Peter still has something to say to Phil.)
Phil. (Peter quietly pulls Phil aside.) Some of my best friends are money-grabbing wankers. And I've got to give a speech to a roomful of them tomorrow at the CBI lunch. I'm not gonna say, "Hello, chums, I've just taken a slash in the soup." So, no, the answer's no.
(As Peter makes his way to the studio, Phil gets back on his cell phone to talk to Stewart.)
Stewart, um, Peter's not going to want to do that.
No, I don't want him to want to do it, Phil. I just want him to do it.
(to Peter) Stewart says it's a JB diktat, you have to do it.
Tell him to stick a goose up his arse.
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