Malcolm and Ben Swain in “Spinners and Losers”

Malcolm

The good news, however, is that the – well, the Tom wobble, it's over.

Ben Swain

And so the –

Malcolm

That's great, isn't it?

Ben Swain

Yeah! Why is – So what, he's not wobbling, he's – What does that mean?

Malcolm

Well, it means that all the rats are now returning to a very buoyant ship and they're playing deck tennis, so that's lovely, isn't it?

Ben Swain

What does that mean for me, then?

Malcolm

I guess that means that you're standing in the chamber of the House of Commons with your big flaccid dick hanging out with a 'vote for me' sticker on the end.

Ben Swain

But you said I had a chance! About half an hour ago you said I was in with a shot!

Malcolm

Don't fucking gi– Look, half an hour ago you were in with a shot! This is half an hour hence! We've fucking time-travelled, yes? We're in a weird and wonderful world, where everything is different. Maybe outside, the polar ice caps have melted. Maybe there's fucking robots knocking about and Davina McCall's the new Pope. Maybe, you can download rice! I want you right now to think about your future, okay? Think about what you are doing, get yourself back on the train to fucking Tomsville pronto, yeah? (walking out) Half an hour ago.