A character in The Streets of San Francisco
Played by Karl Malden
The Streets of San Francisco · 69 quotes
Most-quoted character in The Streets of San Francisco: in 46 of its 69 quotes
Most scenes with: Inspector Steve Keller (30)
[Discussing the murdered Stephanie Brown] Maybe she was rotten to the core. Who cared?
Well, what was rotten about her?
She was a taker. A real taker.
Detective Lt. Mike StoneWhat's a taker?
Oh, you know, somebody who leads you on and tries to get something out of you. Money, a car, anything. That's it. They just take it and it's "Goodbye, Charlie."
[the sniper being interrogated] Okay, so I shot her. What does that have to do with you? She didn't lie to you. She lied to me.
So you killed her?
If I had enough ammo, I would've stayed up here forever. Forever!
Detective Lt. Mike StoneForever's just about where you're headed for, son.
No way, baby, no way. Two years in a head farm, eating public chow, and I'm back in circulation. You watch.
Detective Lt. Mike StoneI can understand why he'd want to quit sales, though. Driving all over town. Knocking on doors. Lousy hours. Taking lip from people who don't wanna be bothered.
Sounds kind of familiar.
Detective Lt. Mike StoneI thought you'd see it.
Detective Lt. Mike Stone[after spotting Angus Ferguson in a passing Winnebago] Gypsies, buddy-boy. Modern-day Gypsies. The Fergusons... They're like locusts. They pick a town and they pick it clean.
Bunco, huh?
Detective Lt. Mike StoneYeah. None better.
Detective Lt. Mike Stone[Stone looks at the book Keller presented him as a gift] Poems? Poetry?
It's Ezra Pound. Remember Williams talking about him at the school?
Detective Lt. Mike StoneYeah, I remember. He talked to his class about him, yeah.
That's right. That's for you.
Detective Lt. Mike Stone[Reading a random page] Oh, now wait a minute. I can't read this.
Why not?
Detective Lt. Mike StoneListen: "Raineth drop and staineth slop." Oh, come on now.
Wait a minute, what?
Detective Lt. Mike StoneYeah. "Raineth drop and staineth slop. Skiddeth bus and sloppeth us." Now come on. Isn't poetry supposed to be clear and to the point?
That's right.
Detective Lt. Mike StoneWell, I've got something clear and to the point for you, young fella.
[Watching as Stone pulls a card from his pocket] What is this?
Detective Lt. Mike StoneSit quietly. "You have a right to remain silent." Is that clear?
That's clear.
Detective Lt. Mike Stone"Anything you say will be used against you in a court of law." Is that to the point?
That's to the point.
Detective Lt. Mike StoneAll right, then get going!
Detective Lt. Mike StoneI don't want the coroner to give me that bullet. I want it from him right now, so come along, we're going to the hospital.
I don't think so, Lieutenant. You don't have that authority. You're a policeman; I shouldn't have to tell you the law.
The law?
Mm-hmm. I did some checking, and it seems among the other personal guarantees in this country is the guarantee that our bodies are inviolate. Not even the Supreme Court can force a man to submit to a surgical operation. That's the law, gentlemen. And I'm sure that, as officers sworn to uphold it, you won't do anything to make me break it.
[after Stone releases Jason] I just hope Olsen doesn't call it a mistake.
Detective Lt. Mike StoneYou know what?
What?
Detective Lt. Mike StoneIf it was my first, I'd worry.
Detective Lt. Mike StoneI say that all our talk about "rehabilitation" is a lot of bunk! We don't give 'em a fair shot and help them when they get out.
Like that shot he gave you?
Detective Lt. Mike StoneI shoulda known better.
So, you made a moral choice? You got a hide like an alligator and a heart like a marshmallow.
Detective Lt. Mike Stone[Watching the reconciled Dancys leaving together] They deserve each other.
Oh, come on, they love each other. It's obvious, like... what was that line he said? "A trout in the milk." Beautiful. Really beautiful.
Detective Lt. Mike StoneYou like that line, huh?
Yeah.
Detective Lt. Mike StoneWell, that ain't Dancy. That's Thoreau.
C'mon!
Detective Lt. Mike StoneHenry David Thoreau. That's where Yale Courtland Dancy stole that line. You can't let this job stifle your mind, buddy-boy. You gotta keep yourself free, easy, for cultural pursuits, y'know? That's right. Good reading, good music. Bowling. But you, that's all you think of is women!
Detective Lt. Mike StoneSomebody call for a cop?
Well, I called for one about an hour ago, but you know they're never around when you need 'em.
Detective Lt. Mike StoneWell, here I am.
Detective Lt. Mike Stone[Discussing the rapist] Well, what about his m.o.? Doesn't that tell you enough to translate for us?
What, the corner market? That's a natural, a regular game preserve. Chicks on display there like all the rest of the merchandise. Shouldn't need a psychiatrist to tell you that.
He didn't give me a chance, Mike.
Detective Lt. Mike StoneHappens sometimes. Maybe nobody gave him one either. Like Lenny said, "In the beginning, there was childhood."
Detective Lt. Mike Stone[On stake out for a serial rapist] Doesn't matter how many times you've done it, it still makes your skin crawl. A loose screw sitting out here somewhere in the dark, or walking around in that market, watching women. And they don't even know he's there. Gotta hand it to gals like Evelyn.
To be bait for a rapist? I wouldn't do it.
Detective Lt. Mike StoneYou don't have to worry, buddy-boy. Not with legs like yours.
Detective Lt. Mike Stone[Entering a seedy bar] Two coffees, Tim!
Coffee, huh? Gotta be A.A. or Mike Stone.
A planchet. That's...
A metal disc that's ready to be stamped into a coin, right?
Right.
[In response to Stone's stunned facial expression] They use it in crossword puzzles a lot.
Detective Lt. Mike StoneYou got time to do crossword puzzles? I don't give you enough to do around here, huh?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Streets of San Francisco pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
