Kids, remember when I promised to feed us from that victory garden? Well, instead, I grew this tree!
Don't you dare bring that thing in here!
What? You don't want a Christmas tree?! That's crazy! Next you won't want a Christmas ham!
Don't worry about that. I love meat and I always will. [takes a bite out of a slice of ham] Mmm-mm! That is some sweet pig meat!
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