[Homer walks up to the counter in a convenience store.]
Yeah, um, give me one of those porno magazines, a large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, a box of panty shields... [rapid undertone] and some illegal fireworks... [normal voice] and one of those disposable enemas. You know what? Make it two.
My apologies, sir, but the sale of fireworks is strictly prohibited in this state and is punishable by a— [sees the only other customer in the store walk out the door] follow me.
[Homer follows the store clerk to his secret stash of illegal fireworks]
Any red-blooded, flag-fearing American would love... the M-320. Celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small part of it.
All right.
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More The Simpsons quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.